


Craig Tucker Must Die

by Kal213



Category: South Park
Genre: Eric Cartman Being An Asshole, F/M, M/M, Mentioned Eric Cartman/Wendy Testaburger, Mentioned Kyle Broflovski/Stan Marsh, This is literally a parody on John Tucker must die
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-10
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2019-09-15 12:29:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 31,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16933272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kal213/pseuds/Kal213
Summary: This is the story about Craig Tucker, he is the man. He lost it to the homecoming queen and prom queen at the same time. He’s got two girlfriends, woah scratch that three girlfriends? After discovering they are all dating Craig Tucker, the three popular students from different cliques band together for revenge. They enlist the help of Tweek, the new guy in town, and conspire to break the jerk's heart, while destroying his reputation. Or will Tweek fall for the same charm they did?





	1. Chapter 1: Introducing Craig Tucker

**Author's Note:**

> This is it. This is my Crack Fanfic I have yet to publish. Come on Craig TUCKER! How could I not. If you've seen the film you know what's gonna happen. Well maybe :) Either way it's a fun ride. 
> 
> I own nothing, unedited, all that jazz. Comment, Kudo, Subscribe, and Enjoy~!

It was in the seventh grade when Tweek realized he was invisible, and not in the ‘you have actual powers like a superhero’. No he was more,

 

“Anonymous,” Tweek replied out loud to the spelling bee’s judge twitching nervously. “A-N-O-N-I-M-O-U-S, Anonymous.” Tweek finished looking at his teacher who shook their head.

 

“I’m sorry but that’s wrong. W-R-O-N-G, wrong.” The teacher spelled out and then looked to the next student to spell the next word.

 

It wasn’t that he didn’t try, he did make a few friends but nothing really personal with anyone. He knew his quirks made him kind of a,

 

“Loser, L-O-S-E-R, Loser.” The girl spelled out and shot a look at Tweek personally. His paranoia, anxiety, and ADHD made him a loser, and him being a loser made him paranoid, and anxious. It was a vicious cycle and the only place he felt remotely normal was in a psychiatric hospital. 

 

When it came to love… Tweek didn’t have it any better. It didn’t help that he was also gay. So when boys did notice him and gave him notes he got slightly excited until they said the words. “Pass it on.” Yeah, love sucked, S-U-C-K-E-D, Sucked. It also didn’t help that his parents kept moving around the US. All to build a coffee Empire by opening stores getting them started and leaving. So when his parents asked if he liked each town he’d gotten used to saying ‘doesn’t matter.’

 

But wherever they went Tweek had gotten good at spotting that guy, the guy every girl should skip. He was the guy who dated around and you didn’t know if you were dating him, the guy you Skip. There was one good thing about being invisible, Tweek never had to say any goodbyes.

 

But in a town of only 4 thousand it was still hard to be unknown which meant when you did show up to support your high School team, the South Park Cows, and sat in the very back in the middle people notice you. So Tweek went from invisible to sort of unknown to,

 

“Are you a narc?” A girl behind Tweek asked and he shook his head nervously twitching and holding coffee.

 

But enough about Tweek, this story isn’t even about him. It’s about him, Craig Tucker. Let’s just face it. He is the man, Captain of the Football team, his family is loaded and he looks somewhere between an Abercrombie model and a Greek god. Beautiful black hair, blue eyes, a deep voice, and a very strong jawline.

 

“Tucker!!” The girls screamed cheering him on as they set up for the last few seconds of the game happened. Craig was the quarterback, he called all the plays, and was the leader of the offense. He was the one who got to deal with all the stress in making sure they didn’t lose this game.

 

“Let’s go Craig! Kill the bobcats! Not real bobcats, I mean, they’re endangered.” A girl spoke up cheering on the local god. Esther was her name, black hair brown eyes, and the local activist, always promoting something for animals.

 

Craig called out a play and then the game was in motion. He dodged the defense and ran into the end zone with zero on the clock successfully scoring 6 points which meant the Cows had won. All thanks to one Craig Tucker. The School’s news team quickly tried to move into the field to get a good shot and hopefully talk to a few players, bumping the cheerleaders who were equally swarming the field. The head cheerleader and the news channel girls both sending each other dirty looks as they bumped into each other.

 

“This is Bebe. It’s no question who’s taking the Cows to state this year,” Bebe spoke wavy brown hair, hazel eyes and the over achiever. She was involved in everything, newspaper, the news channel. She was sending looks to Craig and he smiled walking over putting an arm around her.

 

“Craig Tucker here, also known as ‘Tuck’, ‘T-man’, ‘T-Dog’...” Craig started flirting with the camera as his own friend walked up.

 

“T-Dog!” An ebony colored man yelled trying to get him back into the team huddle. Token Black, and he really was the actual token black guy in South Park High School.

 

“Some people call me ‘T-Money’...” Craig continued, “But I’m best known as ‘El Capitan’.” Craig smirked and winked to the camera going back to the huddle and people were more focused on the cheerleaders.

 

“Short skirts equal talent, Yay.” Bebe rolled her eyes at the head cheerleader busting a move by showing off her ass and then her breasts. But Bebe wasn’t the only one rolling her eyes no that was also done by Esther.

 

* * *

 

 

Tweek remembered the first time he spoke to Craig Tucker. He would have liked to think that Craig didn’t completely blow him away or anything of that sort. That Tweek was completely in control. “Hey table six.” a waitress mentioned and Tweek nodded walking over to the table seeing none other than Craig Tucker.

 

Craig Tucker tried to be careful as he checked Tweek out giving Tweek a slight hope that yeah he’s gay doesn’t have a date and would give Tweek a chance. “Hi,” Craig stated nonchalant in his low voice, blue eyes shining.

 

“Yes, I mean… no, I-I mean you…” Tweek stuttered as he moved side to side nervously.

 

“I’m not quite ready to order. Thanks,” Craig saved Tweek from himself.

 

Tweek nodded doing a slight bow. And yes after he bowed Tweek’s immediate thought was oh god please tell me he hadn’t just bowed to Craig. But of course when Tweek looked back to the table Craig was helping a girl into her seat. Of course a guy like that had a girlfriend. And that girlfriend was none other than Bebe Stevens, runs the School TV station, not to mention the Honor Society, Junior Achievers, 4-H Club, Future Filmmakers of America, Big Sisters, Adopt-A-Shut-In. And that’s all Tweek thought she was doing.

 

“I’ve decided to write a children’s book.” Bebe smiled as she sat down looking at Craig.

 

And she’d decided to write a children’s book. Tweek watched them look over the menu and Bebe spoke something French to Craig as he started walking up.

 

“Mmm, you are so sexy when you speak French.” Craig remarked leaning in and the two of them kissing.

 

“Uh… nngh, do you guys want a minute?” Tweek asked being completely ignored so he left them be.

 

But that wasn’t Craig’s only girlfriend. The one he was with now was Red, or at least that’s what everyone called her. She was a cheerleader, the co-captain to be precise and that was enough said. She wasn’t like Wendy the other captain. Red was considered the slut cheerleader and that was self-explanatory.

 

When Tweek first saw them they were kissing and then Red continued with the story she was telling Craig, “And Molly's all, Why don’t we ‘Stomp, Fight, Roar’'”

 

“‘Stomp, Fight, Roar?’” Craig echoed being just as confused and insulted as Red had been when she had said the same slogan.

 

“I know! I mean, at halftime? What a dud,” Red rolled her eyes as Tweek walked up.

 

“Two green salads, dressing on the side. Salmon for her, Lobster for me,” Craig smoothly took the menu away from Red as he ordered for both of them handing the menus back to Tweek. The whole ordering for both of them was nice but it also meant that Craig new the menu and that was partly because he’d been here before. Not that Red seemed to notice.

 

“I love when you do that,” Red smiled leaning into Craig.

 

“I love doing that,” Craig replied leaning into her as well both of them an inch away from each other.

 

“I love that you love that I love you doing that,” Red spoke again flirting with Craig some more.

 

“And no need to rush between courses.” Craig advised completely ignoring Tweek. He moved his chair closer to Red as Tweek awkwardly walked away. “That top, looks so hot on you. I bet it's even hotter off of you.” Craig smiled and leaned in kissing Red passionately.

 

But Craig Tucker didn’t have just two girlfriends, no he had three. And the third was one Esther Schneider.

 

“Never been here before, babe. So I hope they have good vegetarian.” Craig stated to Esther as they sat down and opened their menu. He was already lying, Tweek and anyone else who had been in the restaurant already knew that he had been here with his two other girlfriends.

 

“Oh, no! Veal? I'm sorry, Let's just go. You know, if I wanted to torture animals. I'd go to a medical lab,” Craig stood up trying to make a big scene without making a big scene.

 

“Hey,” Esther smiled caring as she touched his bicep and pulled him back into his chair looking at him lovingly.

 

“Which I would never do, cause they torture animals,” Craig looked at her stating the obvious even though it had already been a big deal about animal testing and most products now were never tested on animals.

 

Tweek had come to learn from his School jumping -although he wasn’t passing judgment- But for whatever reason, being a vegan teen activist is usually code for ‘easy’.

 

“You know, for you, I do not have to give up all meat.” Esther smiled to Craig as she leaned in and kissed him as all his other girlfriends had done the same. Tweek wasn’t making this stuff up.

 

“I don’t get it.” Tweek spoke up to the other girl working with him tonight. “All these girls seem so, c-confident and cool! How do they not know Craig’s cheat-cheating on all of them?” Tweek asked looking to the other girl for an answer.

 

“He’s a total operator. He goes out with girls from different cliques so that they never actually talk to each other,” The girl snorted. “Tells us that his father will not let him date during basketball season, so they'll have to keep it a secret.” She whispered the last part slightly as they both stared at Craig and Esther.

 

“How’d you l-learn all this stuff?” Tweek asked since she seemed to know a lot more than what Tweek initially thought she’d know.

 

“I don’t know,” She started tearing up. “Just a guess,” She sobbed quickly retreating into the kitchen.

 

And when it came to School. Craig Tucker owned it all. Tweek tried to sit down at a table and introduce himself but everyone who was there quickly got up and left. But unlike Tweek every person who was anyone immediately came up to Craig said hi to him as Clyde and Token his two best friends followed him. Sure there were other clicks and popular people who also hung out with Craig but being the hottest guy at South Park High School had its perks and the free water tossed to him and his friends wasn’t the one people saw.

 

Craig tucker even had the nerve to go up to each of his secret girlfriends and flirt with them by feeling them up or in Bebe’s case sucking chocolate frosting off her finger. And of course none of the girls saw him do this. He had his system of juggling girls down to finite point. But even he couldn’t anticipate the events of Black Tuesday.

 

He got cocky and smiled to a PE teacher who mistook it as flirting. And then soon enough. “Oh my gosh!” A girl yelled and there was Coach Claypoole lying on the ground. But how was Craig supposed to know Coach Clay Poole had acute angina. It was a pre-existing condition, and she took the opportunity to have an early retirement in Sun City, Florida.

 

This meant that all the gym classes were merged. “Yeah, yeah, I know. We all hate each other.” The teacher rolled her eyes at all of the girls sighing in the gym.

 

“No we hate you,” A girl sassed sitting down on the bleachers.

 

The teacher rattled off names as they moved to one side and Tweek with the three girlfriends and a few others. “You weren’t at the party last night, where were you?” A girl asked looking at Bebe.

 

Bebe smiled, “Well this is totally on the DL, I mean, not fit to print.” She cupped her hand and whispered excitedly, “I’m dating Craig Tucker!”

 

Red looked pissed and took the volleyball and aimed for Bebe’s head hitting her. Bebe yelled and Red shrugged, “Sorry it slipped.” Bebe looked slightly pissed but brushed it off getting ready to play volleyball again. Red then took aim again and nailed Bebe again in the head.

 

“You know what?” Bebe strutted over to a Red pissed off. “That was no accident!” Bebe shoved Red slightly.

 

“He’s mine! Stay away from him!” Red yelled shoving Bebe back.

 

“Oh you little brat!” Bebe yelled slapping Red as Esther ran in between them.

 

“Oh! Girls! Peace and love! Come on! No guy is worth fighting over! Stop!” Esther tried to contain them both as they still tried to get to each other and attack.

 

“There’s nothing to fight about!” Red yelled trying to push Esther out of the way. “Craig Tucker is mine!” Esther gasped and shoved the ball she was holding hard at Red’s stomach. “What the hell is your problem!” Red yelled at her.

 

“I, am dating Craig Tucker.” Esther insisted pointing to herself and both girls gasped. Red threw the ball at Esther who ducked and the ball hit Tweek in the face. As Esther came back up Bebe slapped her hard and Esther slapped Bebe back.

 

The teacher whistled loudly jumping in the middle of the three girls. “Enough! Let’s get back in the game.” The teacher announced her word as law even though the three girls didn’t look done fighting.

 

After the teacher had turned her back Esther lunged at Bebe the teacher yelling as the girls yelled both trying to do different things. Tweek being in the wrong place at the wrong time ended up hit in the stomach with a bag full of balls. All of the balls were being used as ammo as Tweek once again got hit as a different girl tried to hit another one.

 

The goth kids still looking bored and uninterested as this happened.

 

Esther grabbed the ball cart and shoved it into the teacher, Bebe and Red. Who subsequently took down Tweek too and Esther once again joining them on the floor to fight some more. Tweek grabbed the teachers whistle rubbing it on his shirt and whistled hard breaking up the fight for a split moment.

 

“This guy is cheating on all of you and instead of taking it out on him you’re beating the shit out of each other!” Tweek twitched yelling at them sick of accidentally getting mixed up in their fight.

 

The teacher yelled scrambling to get up and be above the girls. “Language! Detention! You, you, you, and you!” The teacher pointed at them as she spoke, “Honestly.” She shook her head walking away.

 

“Who is that?” Esther asked referring to Tweek.

 

“I don’t know, Crank something?” Red answered back not caring and full of attitude.


	2. Chapter 2: Detention

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For a second I almost put Thank you next as the chapter title... 
> 
> Here is something nice for your Monday :) And I'll see you next Monday too. If you make my day before that though I could be persuaded to shoot for Thursday? Tests are hard -good luck to those who are taking them right now- and sometimes a distraction is nice. 
> 
> I own nothing, unedited, all that jazz. Comment, Kudo, Subscribe, and Enjoy~!

After school Tweek walked his way to detention which was being held in a library side classroom. “I want you to want me,” A guy sang as he organized books in the classroom. “I need you to need me. I begging you to beg me. Shine up your old brown shoes. Shit!” The guy muttered pulling out his earbuds and looked to Tweek nervously. “Uh... Sorry, it's, uh…”

 

“Cheap Trick, I understand.” Tweek twitched putting his bag on a table pulling out a notebook and a textbook.

 

“Yeah, Yeah, it is.” The guy said a bit amazed that Tweek knew the song.

 

“Yeah, you can’t really hum to Cheap Trick.” Tweek explained trying not to be awkward since this was his chance to maybe have a friend.

 

“No, once you've started... you're kind of obligated to... to belt it out,” he smiled nervously.

 

“Yeah,” Tweek agreed.

 

There was an awkward pause as Tweek debated sitting down unsure if he’d lost the chance at being friends. “I'm Stan. You're from... chemistry, right?” Stan asked, Stan Marsh, the kicker for the Football team and the second most popular guy in School. The people who hung out with him didn’t hang out with Craig.

 

“Yeah, Yeah, I'm-I'm Tweek. So, um, where is everybody?” Tweek asked sitting down and Stan looked confused. “Detention?” Tweek asked a little confused that no one else was in the room yet.

 

“You came early to detention?” Stan asked a bit confused and more amused than anything.

 

“Oh, um, well, it's, you know... I would hate to m-m-miss a minute... of being... detained,” Tweek answered nervously twitching and playing with a pen in his hand.

 

Tweek looked outside seeing Craig once again chatting it up with some boy. “Hey, babe,” Craig flirted with the boy by putting an arm around his waist moving his hand down to the boy’s ass.

 

“Hey, Craig,” he smiled back at him.

 

“I had a great time with this at the lake,” Craig continued flirting.

 

“Ugh.” Tweek sounded disgusted as he opened up his notebook and textbook. Ignoring the flirting that was taking part outside.

 

“Oh, Wow! That's not, uh, usually the reaction he gets from people. It's generally more like a…” Stan grinned making moaning noise. “And that’s including the boys considering he swings both ways.

 

“Yeah, okay. ‘Jerk’ is not really my type,” Tweek rolled his eyes getting back to his work.

 

“Yeah, you're right. He can have his jerk moments,” Stan shrugged and Tweek turned to him confused.

 

“Oh, I thought he was you guys’... god, or whatever,”

 

“You're close. He's my old friend,” Stan admitted and Tweek turned to him fully interested in what had happened.

 

“Oh. You're the other friend group?” Tweek asked wanting to know more.

 

“What is that? Is that, like, ‘the loser friend group’?” Stan asked as he packed up his stuff.

 

“Oh, no, no. That's not what I meant.” Tweek spluttered nervously trying to make sure Stan still liked him.

 

“Not hot, buff, or capable of inciting an all-girl smack down? No, you're right. Na, it's-it's cool. I'll let you in on a secret, though. My mom says I'm special on the inside.” Stan grinned and then sighed putting his bag on his back. “Craig got Token and Clyde while I got Kenny and Kyle. Cartman became irrelevant because he always hangs out with his girlfriend now. It’s funny the way he claims he’s not whipped even though we rarely see him.”

 

“Good for you?” Tweek wondered confused at the mention of someone named Cartman.

 

“Yeah.” Stan smiled leaving the room.

  


* * *

  
  


“Craig? Can I talk to you for a sec?” Red asked going up to Craig and bunch of his friends.

 

“Yeah, sure. Later, guys.” Craig waved goodbye to his friends as they answered with ‘Later, man.’ then Craig turned to Red. “So, what's up?”

 

“In PE today, some loser said that she went out with you,” Red murmured a bit nervous and confused.

 

“Really? And you believed her?” Craig asked confused acting a bit insulted even though he knew he was going to have to charm Red so she would still go out with him.

 

“No, I mean, I do not know. You can’t have a girlfriend…” Red objected a bit ashamed and Craig moved in for the kill.

 

“In Football season,” He finished her sentence and continued. “But... if I could... you know who it'd be.” He moved in and Red smiled as they both tilted their heads kissing slowly. “You know, I do not know why girls say stuff like that. I mean, I think they're just... jealous of what we have because we share something special. Something we do not have to label. You know, it's... it's an unspoken bond. And I love how secure you are.” Craig whispered into Red’s ear knowing that he’d have to say this speech more than once. When he was done he saw Token and quickly left to go hang out with other friends.

 

And soon after he had said he speech three times Detention started. “Alright detention has begun. I’ll be back. And no talking!” A teacher scolded leaving the room the three girls at one table with Tweek at a different one.

 

“So, I talked to Craig. It was sweet. He felt bad for you. He said that you were jealous because we share something special.” Bebe looked at Red with no emotion on her face as if she was coming to terms with something. “Something that we did not have to label because it's…” Red bragged as Esther interrupted her.

 

“Because it's our unspoken bond and I just love how secure you are?” Esther continued the same speech each them realizing that they had all gotten the same speech. Pissed off that Craig had told Red the same thing.

 

“And it hurts me to hear you question it? Because you're the…” Bebe continued the monologue that Craig had given to all of them. Each of them realizing that Craig had played all of them.

 

“Only girl for me?!” They yelled together, gasping when they were done looking around the table. They didn’t worry about the teacher not hearing, or not caring because coffee was more important than making sure popular girls couldn’t talk during detention.

 

“Damn! He said the same thing to all of us,” Red hissed pissed off not sure what to think about being treated as any other girl he had been with.

 

“Figures. He makes up with us and then he hooks up with us…” Esther reported rolling her eyes her voice soft even though she wasn’t happy.

 

“You guys hooked up?” Bebe asked leaning in not believing that Craig really was cheating.

 

“Craig and I share something special.” Esther smiled leaning away a bragging a little bit about the fact that she had a more intimate relationship with Craig.

 

“Oh, what, that you've two been in your pants?” Bebe asked accusing Esther of being a bit of a whore.

 

“We share a vegan, nonviolent outlook on life,” Esther smiled trying to seem like the best girl at the table.

 

“Hippie slut.” Red coughed accusing Esther but not being too obvious about it as she looked away coughing.

 

“Oh, nice, Red. It's not like everyone does not know that Little Miss Cheerleader brings it on,” Esther brought up the fact she had heard rumors that Red also had been a slut and probably slept with Craig. Tweek at this point had given up on doing his work and was also ease dropping into their conversation.

 

“You, too?” Bebe asked looking at both girls astonished that they had slept with Craig.

 

“Look! Craig and I belong together. He is the team captain, and I am... the head cheerleader,” Red pointed out full of attitude trying to be the boss at the table.

 

“Oh, I'm sorry... what kind of cheerleader?” Esther asked wanting to hear Red say that she wasn’t a complete slut.

 

“Oh, like he'd date either of you two seriously!” Bebe interrupted their spat trying to prove she was the best out of all of them

 

“Do not lump me with her!” Esther pointed at Red trying to prove she was better than Red because she was vegan and cared for endangered animals and any sort of other activist thing she could tie her bandwagon to.

 

“Oh, so, what... now you're better than me?” Red asked leaning into the table as if she were getting ready to fight with Esther all of them starting to talk over each other and get into a fight.

 

“Shut up!” Tweek squeaked out loud trying to get the girls to at least be quiet so he could finish his homework since he had to be in detention anyway because of them.

 

“What?” Esther asked turning to Tweek.

 

“Excuse me?” Bebe jeered turning her body as well to stare at Tweek.

 

“What?” Red asked attitude laced in her voice her attention off Esther and now onto Tweek.

 

“Sorry, S-Sorry,” Tweek mumbled out an apology trying to get back to his work.

 

“You have something to say?” Red asked staring at Tweek waiting for him to talk.

 

“Uh... No, it's none of my, nngh, business,” Tweek twitched nervously trying to be small and get out of the girls warpath.

 

“What?” Esther asked all the girls invested into Tweek to the point where he couldn’t get away.

 

“Okay, let me guess. Ugh,” Tweek paused mumbling to himself about pressure and then continued. “Does he always use pet names like ‘baby’ and ‘sweetheart’? Gah, it's not out of affection,” Tweek paused letting trying to find a center so he wouldn’t embarrass himself in front of the popular girls. “It's so he will not mix up your names. And-And he's all about an unspoken bond or something special, but never about a relationship. A-And the whole arrangement was your idea, so you feel guilty that he cheated.”

 

“Oh, my God, you're dating Craig, too.” Red looked fed up and pissed off that Craig would date Tweek and the two other girls while he was supposedly dating Red.

 

“No, uh... No, I just knew a guy like him,” Tweek paused thinking of all the other guys and some girls who’d done the same thing at other Schools he’d been to. Every School seemed to have their very own, “Skip.”

 

“She's right, I mean, he's always making me feel guilty,” Bebe asked using the actual intelligence of her brain for her personal life not just her school work and extracurricular.

 

“Yeah,” Esther agreed with everything.

 

“It seems to me that if a guy treats you like that, it…” Tweek started and Red cut him off.

 

“You'd break up with him, Blah-blah-blah-blah.” Red moved her hand around going back to her actual work that she had pulled out although had never started.

 

“Craig would have another girlfriend in a second,” Esther explained all three girls seemingly going back to ignoring Tweek again.

 

“No, I didn’t say, ‘break up,’” Tweek paused as the girls gave him their attention again. “I'd get even.”

 

“Who are you?” Red asked confused that someone like this hadn’t ever been even recognized in School yet.

 

“I know! You're that guy who wigged out last year and got sent to rehab!” Esther pointed at Tweek excited that she knew who Tweek was.

 

“No, I…” Tweek started and Esther interrupted again.

 

“Then you got taken away for bulimia,” Esther continued trying to guess who Tweek was.

 

“No.” Tweek looked a bit confused that all of this had apparently happened in a very small town.

 

“Fat camp?” Esther asked confused running out of people to guess.

 

"No that was Cartman duh," Red rolled her eyes

 

“No, My name's…” Tweek started as the teacher came in again.

 

“Hey! No talking!” The teacher cut Tweek off again coming into the room looking directly at Tweek.

 

“My name is…” Tweek started slowly trying not to be loud and once again the teacher looked over.

 

"No... talking." He glared at Tweek giving his last warning. The girls looked Tweek over and then they all got back to their own work. It seemed they'd have to wait and find another way to figure out who this new student was. And that was if they didn't focus all their attention on their not-so-boyfriend-boyfriend Craig Tucker. 


	3. Chapter 3: Defamation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright because I'm an idiot. You, my lucky readers, get a chapter today and then next Thursday before we return to the regularly scheduled Mondays. 
> 
> Happy belated Hanukkah, and happy holidays to the rest of you who have yet to celebrate or are celebrating now. 
> 
> I own nothing, unedited, all that jazz. Comment, Kudo, Subscribe, and Enjoy~!
> 
> P.S. I shouldn't have to tell you not to do this to someone right? Well I am, don't do drugs kid and don't give other people things without them knowing, and don't defame some. You could literally get sued for all of these things.

“Hi Tweek.” Tweek’s father came into the room announcing himself with his always rich and smooth voice. “Your mother and I are going on a date and will be home later. Make sure to get your homework all done and take your medication.” Tweek hated when they mentioned the fact that he was on drugs especially since it was their fault.

 

“You also have a friend at the door.” Tweek’s mother smiled saying with her own smooth voice and Tweek looked confused as they moved out of his room. And Tweek followed as they left in the family car leaving Bebe in their doorway.

 

“Tweek right?” Bebe asked and Tweek nodded slowly as Bebe walked in Tweek closing the door behind her. He was Confused why Bebe was in his home let alone knew his name. 

 

“Yeah Tweek.” Tweek was about to show Bebe into the living room when there was a knock at the door and Tweek went to go answer it.

 

“I want to bring down you know who,” Red said as Tweek answered the door. And once again Tweek showed the girl into the living room when the door was knocked on.

 

“Normally I’m opposed to the slaughter of animals,” Esther spoke as Tweek answered the door. “But in Craig Tucker’s Case I’ll make an exception.” Esther said full of attitude and walked into the house not letting Tweek say feel free to come in.

 

The girls stood in the living room all in Tweek’s home for one reason, Craig Tucker. “I don’t even know him!” Tweek said nervously.

 

“So?” Esther asked and continued. “You don’t know anyone. You’re like the Swiss you’re neutered.”

 

“It’s neutral Esther.” Bebe corrected the activist. “If the three of us tried this alone, we would kill each other. You gathered us here. You show us that we have something in common.” Bebe continued her speech and Tweek looked more and more nervous.

 

“We want to kill Craig Tucker.” Red finished the speech and Tweek fumbled a bit rubbing his hands through his hair.

 

“Wow.” Tweek said as the girls sized each other up and Tweek looked very nervous. “Okay…”

 

Tweek explained that they couldn’t really do anything at his house but he was happy to make them some coffee and show them on their way which they refused and Tweek made his own huge cup of Coffee and waved them goodbye. Tomorrow would be the day they got together and planned the downfall of one Craig Tucker. At school. Bebe mentioned they could claim it was a school project that way. Tweek didn't know if that was a good idea or a bad idea. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Learning Center? Who know this was here?” Esther asked looking around where the newspaper and television committee did their work.

 

“Look at him, strutting his stuff like own owns the place.” Red said looking out the glass windows down to the bottom floor where Craig was saying hi to everyone he saw people gathered around him.

 

“Well, he does,” Esther pointed out all of them looking at their soon to be ex-king of the School.

 

“For now. This way. Do not touch anything,” Bebe said following someone else into the back room. “This is Jimmy. He’ll help us out. Jimmy used to be a friend of Craig’s.” She smiled and Jimmy waved and then left not speaking a word. 

 

“Wow.” Esther said looking around the room at all of the computer and storage stuff.

 

“You spend way too much time in after-School programs.” Red commented and Bebe answered with an easy thank you.

 

“Esther, can you get the lights? It's the remote labeled ‘lights,’ Okay, guys. Let's go. Please try and pay attention, and all cell phones off. Tweek, do your thing.” Bebe said and sat down Jimmy in front of the computers that were controlling a projection screen.

 

“My t-thing? Oh, okay... What is it that attracted you to Craig?” Tweek started as a photo of Craig was shown on the projection.

 

“Tweek, I like where you're going with this. Okay, girls, we need to define Craig. He's a statue wrapped in a painting in a frame made of muscles. But what makes him tick? Is it that charm? Is it that smile? Is it that perfect tan? What is it, girls? Dig deep!” Bebe started using a laser pointer to show off the features of Craig as she spoke.

 

“It's his eyes. His eyes, his lips, his chest, the... the way that, when he holds you, his whole body kinda tightens.” Esther spoke as she hugged herself slightly wrapped up in her own fantasy. As Bebe wrote down some notes snorting slightly.

 

“Uh, we all know what happens when boys get happy,” Red interrupted Esther from her fantasy.

 

“Not what I meant!” Esther quickly defended herself.

 

“You guys, save it for Craig, okay?” Bebe interrupted their fighting trying to get them back on topic. “Look, back to the point. We all agree he's hot.”

 

“So, what do we do?” Esther asked looking at the other girls and Tweek.

 

“Well, in cheer, we usually tear down the other team by undermining their confidence, making them feel lame,” Red said trying to be helpful using the only thing she knew.

 

“I do not think this is a case for... UGLY, you are not got no alibi,” Esther said undermining Red’s idea and comment.

 

“Shut up.” Red defended herself knowing at least she’d said something unlike Esther.

 

“Red, as much as I hate to admit this, you have a point,” Bebe spoke up breaking the two girls from fighting once again.

 

“Right! And-And since Craig’s game is that he always has a date, to get even with a guy like that, you make him... undateable,” Tweek spoke up and all the girls smiled knowing what their end goal now was.

 

“Yes. Undatable. A systems destruction of all that is Craig Tucker,” Bebe said as she put up big red letters over Craig’s face on screen saying ‘Undateable’ and then blowing up the photo with some video game noise.

 

“Girls... I think I have an idea,” Esther spoke up obviously excited for her idea.

 

 

* * *

  
  
  


“I'm telling you, babe... you could make your looks work for you. Do not you think, Robert?” Esther spoke pushing some of Craig’s hair back and getting away from where Craig was standing without his shirt on. “You know, Robert knows my mom,” Esther smiled saying Robert's name with some sort of accent. “And he shoots for Vogue, Elle, GQ. And of course he's done all my yearbook photos since middle School on recycled paper.”

 

“Okay, Craig. The trick is just relaxed and be nature naturally, yeah?” Robert spoke normally and put his camera up. “Now pout for me, Craig! Pout!” Robert yelled kind of startling Craig. “More pouting, yeah! Oh, yeah, I love you, I love you, Now make me hate you! Hate me! Yeah! Oh, yeah! Oh, you hate me! Oh, you hate me, Craig! Nice, nice, nice! Now you're a tree. It's windy, Shake your branches! Big storm, Craig.” Esther gave Craig a thumbs up as Craig looked a bit weirded out trying to do what the photographer told him. “It's good. Big storm, Big, bigger, bigger. Now hate me, Craig. Hate me. Oh, you hate me, Craig!”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The girls and Tweek sat in the second level over where Craig and some girl were chatting before the movie had started. They hadn’t been stalking him too much but they had been keeping tabs on Craig and his flings. And this fling was going to end badly thanks to what Esther had planned and in a town of 4 thousand news traveled fast.

 

“It’s so amazing that you’re into sculpture. I mean, what are human beings placed here for if not to make horses and stuff out of clay.” Craig said sounding interested in art but not too interested in his date’s art.

 

“Really?” The boy smiled, “I’m so glad you feel that way.”

 

“Totally,” Craig agreed ignoring the previews in favor of looking at the boy.

 

“Hey, isn’t that you?” He asked pointing at the movie theater screen seeing a photo of Craig with his shirt off.  The wording on the screen also said ‘JUST ANOTHER CUTE FACE?’

 

“I do some part-time male modeling,” Craig smiled coming up with an excuse over why a photo of him had shown up at the movie theater.

 

“Really?” He asked and Craig nodded saying yeah. “I didn’t know that,” He continued.

 

The screen flashed to another part of the ad saying ‘OR THE FACE OF GENITAL HERPES’ And some person yelling out hey I know that guy! The boy looked to the screen and made a noise and Craig looked and a wave of disgust went through his date. “What?! No, I don’t have that.” He defended himself as the boy seemed very put off.

 

‘THERE’S NOTHING CUTE ABOUT: HERPES

I KNOW- I HAVE IT’

 

The advert continued and Craig again defended himself. “Hector I don’t have that”

 

“God! Don’t touch me! Do not touch me!” He said quickly leaving the theater.

 

“Hector wait! Hector!” Craig tried to get his attention as he left the theater.

 

The girls and Tweek  laughed watching his date run out of the theater his date officially ruined and now in front of all these people the rumors would start. “That’s him!” A girl yelled standing up pointing at Craig.

 

“What? No, that’s not real. I only model as a guy with herpes.” Craig defended himself as Red tossed do popcorn at him other people doing the same thing as he tried to dodge and leave.

 

“Going to the clinic Craig?” A guy asked as Craig quickly left Tweek and the girls laughing and settling in to watch their now much sweeter movie.

 

Of course the first rule in warfare, was to never underestimate your opponent. And somehow they had. It was how Craig ended up winning an award for speaking out against STDs. Especially since one in five young adults had an STD. Just not the amazing Craig Tucker. But he was proud to give his voice to the silent. Yeah, Craig had managed to swing Herpes into a good thing. And people loved him all the more for speaking out and being a good person.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Okay, it should have worked. I mean, are we missing something?” Tweek asked knowing he would have been horrified at the idea of people thinking he had herpes. Usually people didn’t end up getting an award for having herpes.

 

“I am, My social life.” Red said a bit snippy obviously pissed off that she had dedicated her life to this instead of hanging out with people like Wendy and other popular girls.

 

“Hi girls.” Tweek’s mother smiled coming into the kitchen with groceries and making herself some coffee.

 

“Hey, Ms. Tweak,” Esther said being polite to Tweek’s mother.

 

“Lori, please. So, what are you up to?” Tweek’s mother asked wondering why these popular girls had decided that Tweek was their friend. Especially since her son had so many issues that required him to be on actual prescription medicine and see therapists.

 

“Destroying a man,” Bebe smiled easily answering Mrs. Tweak’s question.

 

“Ooh, who do I make my check out to?” Mrs. Tweak asked sipping her coffee as she put stuff away.

 

“He's totally indestructible. We give him herpes, they give him an award,” Red sighed fed up that he’d actually spun Herpes into a good thing. Bebe also showed Mrs. Tweak her laptop with the advertisement of Craig having herpes.

 

“Fake herpes, Mom. Nngh... It was a whole reputation thing. It's a long story,” Tweek quickly spoke to make sure that his  mother didn’t get a different idea.

 

“Sure. Yeah, the old ‘fake herpes, reputation…’ thing.” Mrs. Tweak said trying to be a cool mom as she spied on her kid.

 

“You know, um... I can unpack the groceries if you've got... stuff,” Tweek said trying to make her leave. He didn’t want his new found friends to think of him as weird. Or not want to come over again because his family was weird.

 

“I get it, All right. Play nice. Hmm,” Mrs. Tweak smiled and left the girls in the kitchen leaving the teenagers to their quest at destroying a boy.

 

“Okay, your mom is so hot!” Esther whispered looking at Tweek as if she hadn’t realized that Tweek’s family was attractive.

 

“She does Yogalates. Bebe, what are you always typing on there?” Tweek asked as he finished unpacking the groceries so nothing would go bad. He also made sure everything was in its right place by product and then by brand.

 

“Oh, lists... normal stuff, same as everyone. I have my ‘To Do’ list, my ‘Goals’ list... my ‘Contingency’ list, my ‘Observations’... my ‘Notions,’ which, of course, are very different… because ‘Observations’ require a topic sentence... and ‘Notions’ do not. Normal stuff.” Bebe explained and shrugged.

 

“Right, Normal,” Red said rolling her eyes knowing no one else did that except for the overachievers like Bebe, although Wendy could technically also be put into that category. But at least Wendy wasn’t eccentric about it.

 

“Totally,” Esther commented as if she actually agreed with Bebe instead of with Red.

 

“Well, at least I'm not medicated,” Bebe commented looking at Red as she pulled out a white bottle.

 

“Excuse me. This is an all-natural supplement,” Red defended herself.

 

“What are you taking?” Esther asked getting up from her chair to go sit at the table with Red. “Estrogen? Red! They torture innocent horses for this. It's made from their pee.” Esther said completely insulted that Red even had the bottle in her presence.

 

“Peeing is not torture. Menopause is. I steal it from my mom. Guys take steroids to get pecs. I just wanna go up a cup size.” Red explained her voice a little high as she kept trying to get the girls to get off her case about taking something.

 

“I don’t think it works like that. It stops your natural hormone production,” Tweek spoke up even though he had no clue if it was true or not. It was just what he had heard.

 

“Yeah, and when you run out. You're gonna grow a mustache and a penis,” Esther said a bit smug looking at Red.

 

“Are you serious?” Red said tossing the pills she was about to take and looking at Esther in hopes that what she said wasn’t actually true.

 

“Okay, you guys, we've gotta get back to Craig.” Bebe said trying to get the girls back on the same page. Esther walked back over to her seat in the kitchen’s bar.

 

“Okay. What we need is one major hit that's gonna crush his whole town's thing, you know? We need him to understand what it feels like to be us.” Esther started musing as she set down the bottle of pills.

 

“Right, And what's more terrifying to a man than not being manly?” Tweek asked holding up the bottle of pills.

 

All the girls smiled and Red said she could definitely get it into Craig’s drink considering he was putting powder into his water to make it Gatorade. So Red smashed up all the pills into a powder and they waited to see if their plan could actually make him undateable.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Red when she was done with practice went over to the Football field to grab some water out of their water cooler where the team was warming up and Red quickly found Craig’s bag and opened up his bottle filled with Gatorade powder and secretly dumped the estrogen inside of it.

 

“I wanna see a reverse. Two hands, Matt. You, too, Chris. All right, keep it going!” The Coach yelled at his players as Red did her secret mission

 

“Alex, you, too. Come on, Pick it up. Better, Tucker. Take a drink, you guys,” The coach said giving all his players a break.

 

“What's up, babe?” Craig smiled running up to Red quickly unscrewing his water bottle.

 

“Hey!” Red smiled to Craig.

 

“How do you doing?” Craig asked as he filled up his water bottle with water and grabbed a bottle labeled amino energy.

 

“Good. Um, are you trying to bulk up?” Red asked motioning to the big jug of powder.

 

“Yeah, Coach has me drinking some twice a day. So I don’t loose focus and feel tired. Supposed to help build muscle too.” Craig explained as he put some powder into his water bottle.

 

“Oh... not working.” Red said looking Craig over, “I mean, the slim look works for some guys, but... you're definitely losing tone.”

 

“I'm losing tone?” Craig asked Red flexing his muscles.

 

“Yeah. Maybe you should double up doses?” Red said motioning to the powder and Craig looked to her thankful.

 

“Yeah. Yeah. Thanks for the heads-up, babe.” Craig said as Red left watching Craig shovel more powder into his water bottle. 

 

Finally maybe the girls would have the upper hand on the elusive Craig Tucker.


	4. Chapter 4: Estrogen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey. 
> 
> We'll be on the regular schedule from now on. I'd like to talk a little bit about what happened though with the new commenting security. Usually that is meant for everyone. I love comments and I don't want them to stop, I hope the added members only doesn't deter people from commenting. The only reason this has happened is because one person ruined it for everyone. And I'm sure if you read through the other comments you'll be able to figure out who.  
> This whole situation has caused lots of stress for me. I shouldn't have to say that commenting unwanted sexual encounters is a form of harassment. 
> 
> In other news, the next update will happen on Monday I am truly sorry for the delay.
> 
> I own nothing, unedited, all that jazz. Comment, Kudo, Subscribe, and Enjoy~!

**Please read the beginning notes. It contains information about the recent change regarding comments.**

 

* * *

 

 

 

Tweek was carefully doing his chemistry lab by himself as usual. He didn’t mind being alone he actually preferred it because then he didn’t have to worry about someone else making a mistake. The only downside was he had to rush because there wasn’t someone else to help him.

 

“Hey,” Stan smiled getting Tweek’s attention as he walked over.

 

“Oh, Hey.” Tweek said nervously looking up at Stan.

 

“Hey. Can I ask you a favor? Uh, I'm-I'm in need of a lab partner. I was with Kyle and Kenny, but...  Kenny… he got burnt pretty badly in an experiment.” Stan explained and Tweek frowned slightly.

 

“Oh, Well, before I say yes. How exactly did he get burned?” Tweek asked wanting to make sure that he wasn’t in any danger joining Kyle and Stan.

 

“Uh, well, that is open to interpretation, because he will say that it was Kyle and I’s fault, but I clear said, ‘Dear God, man, you're on fire. Run for your life’.” Stan smiled as Tweek’s eyes bulged slightly. “It’s a joke, he’s fine really. Kyle and I kinda were,” Stan laughed nervously, “We were a bit distracted.” At the time of this previous event the record would show that Kyle was teasing Stan as he tried to do his work, neither of them paying attention to Kenny who was in need of their help.

 

“Okay…” Tweek said and Stan motioned for Kyle to come and join them. “Well, uh, you can start by measuring 40 milliliters into that graduated cylinder.”

 

“All right.” Stan said grabbing the clear liquid and putting it into the graduated cylinder as Kyle wrote and smiled to Stan.

 

“Whoa, Slow down,” Tweek said looking at the liquid filling the cylinder way too quickly.

 

“Huh? All right,” Stan said snapping his attention away from Kyle and back to his task.

 

“Get down at the eye level. And wait till the bottom of the meniscus is at that line,” Kyle explained what he needed to do.

 

“I'm-I'm sorry, The meniscus?” Stan asked looking at Kyle confused.

 

“Wait till the curvy part is at the doodad.” Tweek simplified what Kyle said pointing to where the line was.

 

“All right,” Stan said getting down to eye level and begun pouring more liquid into the cylinder.

 

“Slowly. Stop right... there,” Tweek said getting down to look at the cylinder as well.

 

“Oh!” Stan said a bit loudly feeling a foot move up his thigh and he quickly moved backwards spilling the liquid on the front of his pants.

 

“Oh!” Tweek jumped back startled.

 

“Oh, God!” Kyle shouted seeing the front of Stan’s pants covered in the liquid.

 

“Oh, my gosh!” Tweek said not liking the very nervous atmosphere feeling his fingers twitch slightly.

 

“Shit, I spilled it! What do I do? What is this?” Stan asked a bit freaked out looking at his wet crotch.

 

“S-Sodium chloride s-suspension.” Tweek said quickly trying not to freak out too much.

 

“Oh, God, I have to get... Ow, it's burning.” Stan said waving his hands in front of his crotch.

 

“Really?” Kyle asked realizing what sodium chloride was.

 

“Ah, it's burning!” Stan said freaking out as Kyle tried not to laugh.

 

“Cause sodium chloride is salt dude.” Kyle started laughing. “It’s salt water.”

 

“Oh, Well, okay. Then I did not burn myself. It just kinda looks like I peed.” Stan said dipping his fingers into the salt water and flicking it at Kyle.

 

“Hey!” Kyle looked slightly offended and dipped his own finger flicking some at Stan again.

 

“Hey, all right. All right. This is just silly! This is…” Tweek said trying to get the two obviously flirting love birds back on track.

 

“Hey! Cool it,” The teacher said looking up from his newspaper yelling at Stan and Kyle.

 

“Yeah, Kyle. Geez, cool it,” Stan grinned. “I promise we’ll be better partners. Or at least try to be.”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

It was at the Football game that Tweek really got to see what happened if you gave a man Estrogen. Everyone was here to see how the team would do, high school sports, especially the football team in a small town... The whole town had come out to see them and they were doing really well, even with Craig on Estrogen until the moment.

 

“What?” One of the away-team’s player said as they scored yet touch down rubbing it into the defense’s face.

 

Craig was trying to advance the ball and setting up for another play when the away teams player shouldered him multiple times as they got into position. Craig was able to get another first down and the player once again shouldered him hard this time hitting him in the chest as well.

 

“Lay off. That's sensitive.” Craig said frustrated at the player shoved him and the officials not seeing anything.

 

“I'm sorry, princess. Did you chip a nail? Really, how many times do I have to tackle you before you go away?” The other team's player said to Craig making fun of him.

 

“Play clean.” Craig said easily a bit pissed.

 

“Hey, if I wanted to listen to an asshole, I would've farted,” the player smirked at Craig and Craig just looked pissed.

 

“That's an awful thing to say.” Craig shoved the guy to the ground and flag was thrown.

 

“Hey! Foul number 9, 5 yard penalty.” the official exclaimed warning both Craig and the other player as Tweek mouthed to Esther about seeing the fact that Craig was obviously off of his game.

 

“He started it, He's being mean,” Craig defended himself. Red looked to Bebe both of them who had heard Craig knowing exactly what was happening.

 

Craig went through another guy’s bag pulling out a chocolate bar. “Dude, that's mine! I got low blood sugar!” Scott said protesting at Craig eating his candy.

 

“I need it. Do my thighs look fat in these shorts?” Craig said eating the chocolate bar and Scott looked at Craig weirdly and then he had to run onto the field to play again.

 

“Craig! Craig! Come on, Craig!” His guys cheered him on.

 

“What are you looking at me like that?” Craig asked confused holding the ball looking for someone to throw to.

 

“I’m open!” The guy yelled back and Craig tossed it the ball going out of bounds.

 

“You see? Now look what you made me do!” Craig said referring to the waste of a play.

 

“Time, ref. Craig, you okay?” The coach stopped the game and went over to Craig to make sure everything was okay.

 

“Yeah, Why? Do not I look okay? Cause I feel okay, I feel fine. I'm great. What are you saying?” Craig asked feeling very defensive.

 

“I’m saying focus this is the end of this game.” The coach said ignoring Craig’s sudden outburst which was unlike him.

 

“I'm in it.” Craig said focusing back in on the game.

 

“On three, One-two-three.” The coach said and the team yelled ‘Cows’ Craig going back in to play offense.

 

Craig went to throw the ball but misjudged the people coming at him and ended up being sacked, _hard_. And while the other team celebrated Craig laid on the ground not getting up.

 

“Tucker, Tucker, are you okay? Can you finish the game?” The coach ran out into the field worried that his star player wouldn’t be able to play.

 

“No, I-I'm anxious and bloated... and... my nipples hurt,” Craig explained getting up as his team looked confused and his coach slightly pissed.

 

“Do not be a pansy-ass! We need ya. Get up. Let's go,” The coach said referring to the game walking back to the sideline.

 

“No! I will not! I mean, ii-it's always me. ‘WW-We need you, Craig, Let's go, Craig Craig-Craig-Craig!’ You're always yelling at me, but you never listen to me.” Craig yelled the whole stands hearing him. And then he looked around tears almost forming in his eyes and he ran away from the field and into the locker room.

 

This should have been the end to Craig Tucker. No man wanted to leave a Football game crying because he got hit by the other team. Every person had seen him and the next day the word had spread. Thanks to the girls and Tweek no one would longer be under the reign of John Tucker's charm. He had finally fallen from grace, and Tweek and the girls were on top of the world.

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Yo, what's up, guys?” Craig said walking up to his friends and they all turned their backs ignoring Craig.

 

“Token,” Craig said walking up to one of his best friends confused.

 

“Mm-mm, mm-mm,” Token said shaking his head and walking off. The girls just down the hall pretending to be busy Tweek watching but organizing his locker. Each of them celebrating about the fact that they had managed to knock down Craig.

 

Craig looked a bit sullen as he walked over to his locker opening it as a girl walked up to him and tapped him on the shoulder. “What you did on the field last night, was the most courageous thing I've ever seen any man do.” She reached into her back pocket and gave Craig a piece of paper. “My peer-counseling hotline. Give it a call anytime you want to talk. I stay up late.” The girl smiled and walked away swaying her hips side to side.

 

“A real man knows how to feel. I want to feel a real man.” A different girl said to Craig in between passing period and Red looked to Tweek and Esther pissed that somehow girls still wanted him.

 

“If you ever need a shoulder or a hug or... You know…” A guy smiled watching Craig workout trailing a finger down Craig’s chest and going lower. “Anything… I'm here,” He smiled feeling Craig up slight and Craig made a noise putting his weights down.

 

And this was where rule number two in warfare came in handy never, ever, underestimate your opponent. Because Craig would surprise the girls with doing something they thought he would never do.


	5. Chapter 5: Plan B

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know what? Sometimes you name something chapter 3 when it's supposed to be four. And no one tells you you fucked up so you end up uploading chapter 5 and it just looks weird. (This was edited though) This is a week late, new computer + no keyboard makes it hard to upload. Anyway Enjoy!
> 
> Oh! don't call people derogatory names this is used in the fic because the 2000s were a different time and it is used in south park. 
> 
> I own nothing, unedited, all that jazz. Comment, Kudo, Subscribe, and Enjoy~!

“Hey, sweetie, Can we talk? Look ... I know I wigged out last night.” Craig smiled to Red who nodded understandingly. “My peer counselor says I need to look into my emotional responsibility. So, I've been doing some ‘me’ work and, uh, it's really being clearing things up.” Esther nodded doing the exact same thing that Red had done when she got the same exact speech. “Hmm, And, well, you know there's only one girl for me. But I do not think that girl is you.” Bebe’s jaw dropped just as Red’s and Esther’s had done when they had gotten the speech earlier. “I mean, we had a fun run. You know? I'm just ready to find something deeper, more complex. So... we good?” Craig asked and all three girls slapped Craig when they had gotten the speech and walked away.

 

* * *

 

 

That night the girls all meet at Tweek’s once again this time they were in his room as he sat on his bed doing homework the girls sitting at his desk and on the floor eating different snacks and coffee his parents had brought in. Tweek’s parents weren’t sure if they should be happy that Tweek had managed to become friends with three popular girls in School or to be worried that the only friends he had coming over were girls. They knew their son was gay, it was good for business, but they didn’t think he was that gay.

 

“Well... he dumped me,” Esther said pulling her knees up hugging herself.

 

“That shallow bastard thinks I'm not complex?” Bebe asked sitting down and pulling out homework.

 

“You, like, invented complex.” Red commented joining Esther on the floor as Bebe took the desk.

 

“I'm so depressed. I could not even enjoy the break-up sex,” Esther mumbled to herself and Red and Bebe raised an eyebrow at her. “Oh, my God! I'm so a slut!” Esther said leaning back knocking her head against the wall. “Ow! Oh, God!”

 

“I cannot believe I ate meat for him. I mean, it was fish. Still, I do not eat anything with a face.” Esther commented as she started digging into the plethora of food they had brought up with their coffee.

 

“Mm, try this. It's really good. Chocolate on chocolate,” Bebe said handing Esther a piece of solid chocolate with melted chocolate on top and Esther ate it looking very happy.

 

“Oh, yeah,” Esther moaned happily.

 

“Chocolate is the Craig Tucker of all snack food,” Bebe said chocolate on her finger and she sucked it off.

 

“What's it's gotta get with every candy on the shelf?” Esther asked as she ate something else. Making a good point but Tweek shook his head.

 

“No, no, no, chocolate makes everything better. My mom says that it can even mend your broken heart.” Tweek said nervously as he sat on his bed where the girls had joined him chocolate frosting and snacks in hand.

 

“You know, I was thinking, instead of doing all this, we should have just broken his heart.” Red pointed out sitting up. And the other girls looked curious.

 

“What? Red, that's pretty genius,” Bebe said sitting up and looking to the others.

 

“Yeah, except he, nngh, broke up with everybody,” Tweek tried to explain why now this plan couldn’t work at all. Despite how much the girls seemed to be on board with it.

 

“Not... everybody,” Bebe said slowly and pointed to Tweek who jerked slightly as the other two girls smiled.

 

“What? No! I? No! I can’t do that, it’s too much pressure! I don’t even like him,” Tweek quickly tried to get the girl off using him to date and make Craig’s life a living hell.

 

“So?” Esther said looking upset that Tweek had already turned them down.

 

“You're not really gonna be dating him. You'll be pretending.” Bebe said urging Tweek to say yes to their idea of using him to break Craig’s heart.

 

“Exactly,” Esther agreed with Bebe trying to get Tweek to say yes.

 

“Look, I know what you're thinking, I'm not as pretty as Red.” Red spoke not helping ease Tweek’s fears. “I'm not that smart, I'm not that... experienced,” Red continued as the girls nudged Esther who smiled and shrugged.

 

“But you have us. And we can make you into anything. If we combine all of us, we can make him fall in love with you, I mean really fall in love and then we'll yank it all out from under him,” Esther said telling Tweek the plan in detail really trying to get him on board even though he hadn’t said yes yet.

 

“This is gonna be so good!” Bebe grinned excitedly as Tweek looked very nervous his hand at the back of his head as her scratched it.

 

“No, it's just not gonna work, I…” Tweek tried to calm the girls down so they wouldn’t be upset about him declining but still want to be his friend.

 

“Tweek, look... I know you think I'm just a superficial cheerleader... but... I do have feelings... and they got crushed because of your idea. I used all my mom's estrogen pills and now she looks like Bernie Mac,” Red urged Tweek trying to be sensitive and calm hopefully appealing to Tweek to say yes.

 

Bebe giggled slightly and Red looked at her a bit pissed and she apologized becoming somber again, “Sorry.”

 

“You guys, I…” Tweek wanted to explain that he wouldn’t be any good at this and that the original idea wasn’t his idea anyway.

 

“You know what? Forget it. You couldn’t pull it off anyway,” Red said grabbing her bag getting up. “Let's go.”

 

“Oh, well.” Esther said grabbing her own stuff going to the door.

 

“All right,” Bebe said following with her own stuff.

 

“Wait! Ugh, this is too much pressure. Just tell me what to do,” Tweek said quickly trying to make sure his only friends didn’t leave him.

 

“Yes! Oh! Ha!” The girls squealed jumping back onto the bed with Tweek who instantly regretted his decision.

 

“Now, the first step is so easy. There's one thing Craig Tucker cannot resist.” Red smiled looking at Tweek grinning and pulled out a cheerleader top and Tweek paled. “So I’ll see you tomorrow before practice.” Red grinned and they all continued with their bags saying goodbye and actually leaving Tweek's room.

 

“Ugh! What have I done.” Tweek mumbled tossing his head into a pillow.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Okay, girls. This is Tweek... and he'll be taking Nancy's spot,” Red smiled and looked to Wendy who nodded. The girls were all in short shorts and tight shirts and Tweek had to stand there in a similar outfit tight shirt and tight pants but that still let him move around holding the green and white pom poms.

 

“What?” Nancy asked confused that all of a sudden she was being kicked off the team.

 

“Well, you know, you've got that sprain and everything. We just thought it would be best if you rested and in the meantime Tweek will fill in. Besides Tweek helps the team.” Wendy explained using actual logic even Tweek thought for a moment that it was good that he was going to be a new cheerleader.

 

“But it's just a sprain. The doctor said I'd be better in a week.” Nancy tried to explain looking at Red and Wendy.

 

“Maybe next year, kiddo. You fought a good fight, though. Okay, pyramid! Tweek, you're on top,” Red smiled and the rest of the team just accepted the fact that Tweek was now on the team.

 

“What? No, no, no, what if I fall? What if I break my neck? W-what if I do something wrong? This is too much pressure!” Tweek tensed up as Red walked him over to the mat with everyone else.

 

“Come on! Craig loves girls on top,” Tweek turned to stare at Red. “Of the pyramid! Hello! Trust me, it's an honor. Molly's been waiting three years to get up there. Right, Molly?” Red smiled not worrying about the other girls.

 

“Yeah, you go ahead. It's your first day. You earned it,” the girl Molly rolled her eyes as Tweek was helped up the pyramid. Thankfully the whole doing yoga to center himself had come in handy to make him flexible and the year he did gymnastics to be graceful.

 

“Okay, Up-up-up! Good. Straight legs. Nice and steady. Big smile!” Red said cheering on Tweek as he got to the top of the pyramid.

 

“I did it! Cows, attack...!” Tweek screamed as he fell his split moment of celebration breaking his concentration on his balance. The fall meant everyone came crashing down although thankfully no one ended up hurt because the bases did their job in catching the people on top.

 

“S-s-sorry.” Tweek stuttered out shaking, he’d ruined the pyramid he wasn’t fit it be a cheerleader at least not a flier.

 

“Well, if you can crush Craig like you crushed Molly. I think we got it.” Wendy smiled and Red grinned giving them both a high five.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Wendy wasn’t just in on the taking down Craig Tucker no she was helping and her best friends were Stan and Kyle who also knew of the plan. It seemed bringing down an enemy brought friends back together. After the practice where Tweek learned his flexibility and lack of knowledge of gymnastics actually really helped his tumbling. But that didn’t mean that Tweek stopped apologizing to Molly, Red, Wendy, and the whole team about messing up in the beginning.

 

“Do not be sorry. Be strong. The most important thing a cheerleader wears is her attitude.” Red explained as they walked down the hall. “Watch this,” Red smiled and then her face flashed into a too hot, too popular, and better than you. She sashayed her hands on her hips and then struck a pose leaning against a wall.

 

“That is hot!” A guy grinned seeing Red do her walk and Tweek caught up to her not being out done. It wasn’t going to be that hard just act like you’re hot shit and better than everyone.

 

“I can do that,” Tweek said walking past her doing the same walk and striking a pose on the wall a bit farther down the hall from Red. He was actually proud of himself for feeling confident and shook out his hair a bit.

 

“Hey, how you doing? Red... we're cool, right?” Craig asked coming up behind Red leaning on the wall a fake smile on his face.

 

“What?” Red asked a bit insulted that he’d think they were cool. Although for the sake of breaking his heart she knew she’d have to pretend that they were cool.

 

“Who's the new cheerleader?” Craig asked not even paying attention to Red as he watched Tweek.

 

“Ow.” Tweek mumbled as he stuck his hands out to the side practicing slightly and smacking his fist into the wall.

 

“That's Tweek,” Red explained raising an eyebrow at Craig. He really had forgotten all about Red already. It was insulting, very insulting.

 

“He's cute.” Craig said as Tweek turned around to look for Red seeing Craig staring at him. Tweek’s face heated up slightly as he quickly turned back around busying himself with looking at a poster on the wall.

 

“Not gonna happen,” Red smirked as Craig turned to Red slightly before looking back at Tweek. “He's not into High School boys.” she walked away from Craig hearing a noise of disbelief. Red’s arms crossed moving her hips side to side going up to Tweek. Craig smiled watching Tweek leave already planning who his next conquest was.

 

“That's it?” Tweek asked confused. Joining Red as they moved down the hall away from Craig.

 

“We just planted the seed,” Red explained but Tweek was still nervous and worried. He didn’t want to be the reason why the girls didn’t get their revenge.

 

“What'd he say about me? Did he say anything?” Tweek asked quickly still paranoid that maybe he’d messed up and that their plan wouldn’t work and he had to put on a cheerleader’s outfit, that was framing his ass too tightly for his liking, all for nothing.

 

“Cute.” Red shrugged answering Tweek’s question.

 

“Oh! He said that? He really did...?” Tweek smiled talking quickly excited that he’d actually done something right and got Craig’s attention. “Uh, oh, my gosh, I-I mean... you didn’t even introduce me, Should I go talk to him?” Tweek asked as they stopped in the hallway Red giving Tweek a look that he couldn’t decipher on his own. “I-I'll go... No? What?”  Tweek asked as Red grabbed his hand pulling him into the girls bathroom.

 

“Red!” Tweek said nervously as they walked into the girl’s bathroom. “This is the girl’s bathroom.”

 

“And you’re really gay don’t worry.” Red shrugged pulling out her phone texting someone and soon enough Esther and Bebe showed up into the bathroom. “Okay, emergency meeting. I think we're sending Tweek in before he's ready,”

 

“I... I'm totally ready,” Tweek nodded trying to be confident jumping up to sit on the counter with the sinks.

 

“Oh really? Tell em’ what Craig said about you,” Red said raising an eyebrow not believing Tweek. She went stood  in front of him the other two girls on her right as she crosses her arms on her chest under her breasts.

 

“Oh, what, about me being cute? Oh, No, it's just a comment. If anything, it's an insult. I know he's just getting ready to use me.” Tweek spoke a bit quickly trying to play off his initial excitement as nothing. He had to play it cool, they were counting on him and he wasn’t going to break under the stress.

 

“Tweek, I'm confused, but I thought you said you had experience with guys like this,” Esther asked concerned seeing Tweek getting excited about being called cute. Especially since Tweek seemed to know all about Craig Tucker’s type.

 

“I do, I-I've watched people date a million and one of these guys,” Tweek stuttered being put on the spot but was confident enough that his experience still counted as experience.

 

“But you ever dated one?” Esther urged.

 

“Have you ever dated a Craig Tucker?” Red asked looking at Tweek hopefully

 

“Have you ever dated... anyone?” Bebe asked a bit cautious at Tweek’s cheeks turning pink.

 

“Define ‘anyone’,” Tweek mumbled slightly knowing the girls heard him by the sound of their loud gasp. “Oh, my God! I'm totally not, nngh! Ready! This is too much pressure! I'm gonna blow this…” Tweek started panicking his nervous tics coming in full force as he stood up.

 

“No, no, no, no. You're gonna be fine,” The girls all talked over each other trying knowing about Tweeks habits of when he was nervous.

 

“All right, stop, stop,” Red held her hands out calming everyone down.

 

“Okay, look, you'll be fine, okay? You just gotta remember to be cool and... collected.” Bebe spoke calmly and confident being exactly what she had just said and the opposite of Tweek.

 

“Yeah, Be caring and passionate.” Esther smiled and Tweek could just tell how passionate she was for all of her organizations.

 

“Be proud and... aggressive.” Red said her cheerleading coming in handy as she held her head up high.

 

“You've got to make him chase you, okay? If it's easy... he'll move on. Do you understand?” Bebe asked still being calm and Tweek nodded agreeing.

 

“Mm-hmm, Yes, I-I have it, It's totally under control,” Tweek smiled feeling calm in the presence of who he now considered good friends.

 

“Okay. So... he really said you were cute?” Bebe asked excited that their plan was actually going to work.

 

“Yeah, I mean, that's what Red said, and…” Tweek looked to Red who was upset that suddenly Tweek had gotten excited again over John Tucker. “Damn it!” he shouted and the girls waved it off a calm atmosphere once again coming over the four of them.

 

“Okay, okay, look. It's not that hard. Um. When he speaks to you, count to three in your head before you answer him.” Bebe said giving Tweek a helpful tip. Tweek nodded he was going to do this and he was going to do it right and good.

 

“Do not show any interest, Do not even look at him too much,” Red gave another tip and Tweek nodded and started counting to three slowly practicing on the them.

 

“You got it? I said do you have it?” Bebe asked looking at Tweek as he stood there in his own head.

 

“I was counting to three,” Tweek explained and the girls looked a bit baffled.

 

“Not that slowly. We do not want him to think you're retarded,” Esther explained and Tweek nodded as the door opened a few girls coming into the bathroom.

 

“Um... sorry. It's my bad,” Bebe said as she quickly moved out of the bathroom.

 

“Bye.” Esther waved watching Tweek and Bebe leave the bathroom. He didn’t wanna be caught and given detention for being in the girls bathroom.

  



	6. Chapter 6: Pens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's been a while... I had to get a new computer and then. Well, I've got a new puppy and that takes a lot of time. So to make up for it I'm hoping to post a new chapter every day this week. 
> 
> Kudos, subscribe, all that Jazz~ Enjoy!

It was after a class when Tweek was walking with Red to her next class when Craig made his move. It was unexpected even if Tweek had been preparing for this moment. The girls even went shopping had picked out tight pants and button up shirts for Tweek. Even fixing and correcting them when they saw he had messed up. They had also taken to the habit of fixing his hair, along with Wendy who proved to be very smart and nice. It seemed anyone on the train ‘Kill Craig Tucker’ now had the excuse to touch him and help him look hotter, and sometimes those were conflicting opinions.

 

“Hey.” Craig made his presence known coming between Red and Tweek. Red nodded to Tweek who nodded back and then he looked up at Craig. “Craig Tucker?”

 

“Hi.” Tweek smiled trying not to give too much up but also trying to seem friendly.

 

“So... you must be new.” Craig paused and Tweek counted and just before he got to three Craig started again. “Well, not ‘new’ new, but... new to cheer.” Craig explained and once again Tweek started counting he wasn’t gonna mess this up. All he had to do was count. And once again just as Tweek was about to speak Craig did stopping them in the middle of the hall blocking Tweek’s way forcing Tweek to look at him. “Okay, don't tell me. Tell me Friday night... at dinner. I'm captain of the team, you're our new cheerleader. I'm obligated to buy you dinner. School rules,” Craig shrugged and Tweek didn’t bother to count this time.

 

“Thank you, but I'm gonna have to pass.” Tweek said calm cool and collected as he then started walking past Craig.

 

“You busy, or...?” Craig asked a bit confused looking back at Tweek.

 

“Sure, I'm busy. Nice to meet you. Bye.” Tweek said a bit quickly and walked away going to chemistry.

 

“What?” Craig asked under his breath looking frustrated and confused that someone had actually turned him down. No one turned him down he was Craig Tucker, people went up to him asking for dates. And when it rarely happened the other day he had a perfect record of getting a date. And yet this boy had turned him down.

 

 

 

 

Tweek had set up the experiment with Kyle as they waited on Stan who apparently as Kyle so eloquently had put it ‘sucks’. “Uh... you know, there's actually... a pretty decent music scene around here.” Kyle said awkwardly making conversation so they weren’t just sitting around. “Stan usually takes me to these things. You know, if we ever know… You know, I mean, if I... ever hear of a good show. I could probably... you know, I could... I could let you know... about that show.” Kyle shrugged as Stan came in shaking his head. “Where have you been?”

 

“Trying to convince an idiot not to do something. And saying hi to Kenny, he’s kinda… You don’t wanna know actually.” Stan waved it off sitting down at their lab table grabbing his stuff out of his bag.

 

“Being a whore again?” Kyle asked and Stan nodded. Tweek saw Kyle’s frown before he knew what was happening.

 

“Where are you supposed to be? You do not belong in this class.” the teacher said to the door and Tweek turned around seeing a guy holding a bunch of white roses.

 

“I-I'm just supposed to drop these off.” The guy said quickly giving Tweek the flowers and Tweek took them a worried look on his face.

 

“Thanks.” Tweek said softly as the kid started leaving and he looked to Kyle and Stan seeing Stan shaking his head.

 

“What's going on here? What is your name, son?” the teacher said again and Tweek turned around again seeing more flowers being given to him by more people.

 

“Attention, fellow students. If Tweek is out there in Loudspeaker Land, my number is 555-6467.” Craig’s voice smoothly came over in the intercom and Stan rolled his eyes as Kyle looked mildly impressed seeing Tweek’s huge smile.

 

“Give me a pen,” A girl whispered quickly writing down the number.

 

* * *

 

 

During lunch the girls and Tweek along with a few others who all wanted to help despite Tweek’s initial reaction of ‘what if someone tells’ or ‘what if there’s too many cooks in the kitchen’ and other fears the girls trusted them so they were invited into the secret Kill Craig Tucker hide out. The back room of the computer lab.

 

Tweek was organizing the flowers in the room when he heard a voice. “I'm the captain of the team. You're our new cheerleader. I'm obligated to buy you dinner. Thank you, but I'm gonna have to pass.”

 

“Uh, how'd you guys get this video?” Tweek asked looking at the video of him and Craig on the computer of what just happened a few hours ago.

 

“I've been documenting our efforts,” Bebe said as Jimmy did some editing to make it look better.

 

“I-I-I-I’m just here for the Ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-ed-editing.” Jimmy grinned and continued to mess around on the computer doing things Tweek didn’t understand as Wendy grabbed a camera.

 

“Great! Make a video. Maybe Craig will get a role on The O.C.” Red rolled her eyes as Wendy started recording and Tweek waved to the camera nervously

 

“It's our expose. We're gonna show everybody the real Craig Tucker. And how we broke his heart.” Bebe explained and Wendy pointed the camera from Red to Tweek.

 

“It’ll be like Prime Time Tucker, Hasta la vista, mother f…” Wendy recorded Red snapped along with her voice and Bebe cut her off.

 

“Stop... with the rhyming.” Bebe said Wendy pointing the camera at Bebe instead.

 

“Now, that's good. Do it like this. Craig,” Esther said moving into the camera remembering what Craig had said to all of them. “There's only one guy out there for me.” She said sweetly as the girls moved in close Wendy filming.

 

“And you are not him!” The girls said together and Jimmy snorted afterward as Wendy smiled.

 

“We are so gonna neuter him!” Esther said excitedly Tweek still not sure she knew what that meant, “Tweek, do one.”

 

“Uh... Craig, there's only one guy out there for me. But you are not him.” Tweek said nervously but getting through his stutter even if he was the only one on camera.

 

“No, do not hold back. How do you want to be a cheerleader with no attitude?” Wendy shook her head at Red’s comment trying to help out Tweek.

 

“I... don’t want to be a cheerleader.” Tweek mumbled looking at Red and Wendy nervously.

 

“Tweek... everyone wants to be a cheerleader.” Red exclaimed even if Esther snorted and mouthed no right next to her.

 

“Just think of everyone you’ve ever been hurt by, this is your time and you’re in your zone, you gotta sell it!” Wendy explained and pointed the camera back at him.

 

“Tweek, this is for every guy out there that's ever lied to any girl, Okay? Okay, action,” Bebe said and Wendy rolled her eyes at being basically ignored even though her comment was basically the same thing.

 

“Craig Tucker,” Tweek paused getting a lot of his feeling to the surface. “There's only one guy out there for me,” he paused dramatically for his next part and sold it. “But YOU ARE NOT HIM.”

 

“Damn, You are gonna be a legend,” Red grinned liking exactly how Tweek had said the sentence they had all heard Craig say to them.

 

“Yeah,” Everyone else in the room agreed.

 

* * *

 

 

Craig was on a mission to get Tweek. He hadn’t gotten a call but he didn’t want to seem desperate so he decided on a not-accidental-accidental meeting instead. Craig waited outside Tweek’s class talking to some girl when the bell rang and out came Tweek books in hand as he was doing something related to School. Craig walked next to Tweek and heard his book closed and Tweek looked at Craig and Craig looked up, “Oh, hey.”

 

“Hey,” Tweek said nervously hugging his binder and put it away grabbing his thermos of coffee instead this was good it meant not looking at Craig and not having an episode all at the same time.

 

“Did you like the flowers?” Craig asked and Tweek shrugged actually that many had proven to be an annoyance given that they now occupied the hang out. Aka the back room of the computer lab.

 

“Uh, yeah, if you're... into that sort of thing.” Tweek said nervously trying not to seem annoyed but also trying to catch Craig’s interest.

 

“Cause I did not get a phone call.” Craig said as they stood in the middle of the hallway Craig confused. Most people liked flowers, and he had gotten a lot of phone calls, just none of them from Tweek.

 

“I didn’t have a pen,” Tweek said easily and left Craig standing there in the hallway for the second time confused. Except this time Craig was gonna go all in. Tweek was interesting and Craig wanted in. And the best way to do that was to see a couple of old friends.

 

“Stan!” Craig scared Stan slightly sitting at the table where Kenny was asleep while Kyle and Stan listened to some indie band.

 

“Oh! Hey, man,” Stan said rolling his eyes knowing exactly why Craig had come over to see him and Kyle and they could even see fatass basically running to the table, even though fatass didn’t run, to join them.

 

“Hey. So, you're lab partners with Tweek, right? You talk. What's his deal?” Craig asked and Kyle snorted not sure how they were going to spin this one.

 

“Yeah, I don’t know, man. I don’t think he's your type, though,” Kyle said in a bro kind of way as Cartman finally made it to the table it seemed that the only team had once again been brought together.

 

“‘People’ is my type.” Craig said pointing to himself and Cartman laughed a bit loudly.

 

“Yeah man people,” Cartman added trying to act busy as his girlfriend walked passed and Cartman got the okay to hang out with them.

 

“All right, then, then-then maybe, you're not his type. He's into stuff like X Ambassadors; he listens to obscure podcasts; he reads  Laird Barron . You know, he's... he's deep, man,” Stan actually gave good insight and Kyle shot him a look.

 

“Dude... I'm deep. I'm dating the Poetry Club.” Craig said pointing to himself and Kenny snickered a laugh.

 

“Why didn’t I think of that,” Kenny laughed. “You’re gonna regret it Craig. And if you really wanted help maybe start being friends with us again. We talk to Tweek all the time. And I don’t like him. He’s weird.”

 

“Tweak? As in the coffee shop that opened up? Dude their pastries are the best.” Cartman mentioned something actually relevant. “They named their son Tweak Tweak?” Cartman laughed.

 

“It’s T-W-E-E-K, Tweek and then their last name Tweak fatass.” Kyle spoke up defending their friend. “How’s your girlfriend by the way?”

 

“Don’t call me fat you Jew! And I dunno how is your ex-girlfriend Stan?” Cartman asked rubbing it in and Stan rolled his eyes and looked to Kyle and kissed him slowly. “Ugh fags.”

 

“Cartman you’re the only straight guy at this table. Even Kenny fucks anything that moves.” Craig pointed out and Kenny looked at him a blonde eyebrow raised.

 

“What the fuck does that make you Craig?” Kenny asked really interested in an answer.

 

“A relationship expert.” Craig grinned and then left.  

 

* * *

 

“So, Craig asked you two to spy on me?” Tweek asked as he walked into the School struggling with all his bags and holding his coffee in the same hand.

 

“Yeah, he heard we were lab partners, so he's having us tail you and find out what we can.” Stan explained and Tweek shook his head.

 

“Although we aren’t supposed to be giving anything away and playing it cool.” Kyle smiled adjusting his bag on his shoulder.

 

“You're, like, the worst spies in the world,” Tweek laughed still struggling with his stuff and Kyle grabbed a thermos falling out of Tweek’s bag before it hit the floor.

 

“Or are we the best spies in the world? Who's waiting for the phone, and who's chatting up the boy?” Kyle grinned giving the thermos back to Tweek.

 

“That's true. Ow…” Tweek rubbed his neck. “I have a kink, I have a kink in my neck,” He rubbed it out and grabbed the thermos putting it back into his back

 

“That's maybe those new cheer muscles of yours,” Stan shrugged and Tweek looked at him wondering what he meant by new cheer muscles.

 

“Are you making fun of me?” Tweek asked and Stan smiled softly.

 

“Uh, a little bit, yeah,” He confessed. “But it’s a good making fun of. It means we like you cause you’re our friend.”

 

“Hello.” A guy with blonde hair and what looked like drawn on eyebrows over his light blue eyes walked up grabbing the books that had suddenly spilled out of Tweek’s arms. Tweek would have said he spilled his books because he was carrying too many things but in reality he jumped because the new person showing up had taken him off guard.

 

“Um... sorry,” Tweek mumbled taking the books back.

 

“This is Kenny, Kenny Mccormick,” Kyle introduced the new being and Tweek nodded his hands still full with things.

 

“Tweek Tweak… You realize you’re playing with fire right?” Kenny asked very seriously as if this was a warning of some sort.

 

“I-I-I-I… What?” Tweek asked confused looking at the other blonde.

 

“You’re going to end up in over your head. Those girls aren’t your friends, but we can be, and Craig can be if you let him. With those girls he never said exclusive, but he can be.” Kenny spoke a bit cryptically and Kyle put Kenny’s hood over his face and tightened the strings.

 

“Ignore him Tweek everything will be fine. We’ll see you at the game.” Kyle smiled and dragged Kenny by his strings and Stan by his hand.


	7. Chapter 7: Touchdown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second day of chapters is here! Completely unrelated but if anyone has any tips on puppy socialization/ being scared of being outside after having missed being outside at three months let me know. Seriously this is a slow process I'm dealing with and if there's any help I don't know I'd love to hear it.
> 
> I own nothing, unedited, all that jazz. Comment, Kudo, Subscribe, and Enjoy~!

“Here we go, Cows, Here we go! Here we go, Cows, Here we go!” The cheerleaders yelled cheering on the Football team from the sidelines. And Tweek made his way over to where Red and Wendy were facing away from the game while Wendy and Red watched the game.   
  


“Hey, I think I totally blew it with Craig. I mean, he has not even talked to me since I turned him down.” Tweek twitched slightly nervous that he really had ruined everything and the girls wouldn’t be his friends after all of this.

  
“Relax, Tweek, this is going to work, I promise,” Red smiled as they kept cheering on the game.

  
“H-How do you know?” Tweek asked stuttering slightly his nervous tic showing it’s ugly head. He even wanted to go to his bag and grab coffee, or go home to have some of his parents coffee which was even worse.

  
“Everything is going to work out just believe.” Wendy smiled and stared at one of the players as if she was having what Tweek had been told what was referred to as cheer sex and Red smiled knowingly and gave Tweek a please-turnaround-and-face-the-other-way nod.

  
“Tweek Tweak.” Tweek jumped slightly turning around and seeing Craig right in front of him basically suspending play because he was wasting time. “How are you doing?”

  
“Good. How are you?” Tweek asked trying to be calm but also a bit excited that Craig was chatting him up instead of paying attention to the game.

  
“Not so good. See, I like this guy, but he doesn’t know I exist,” Craig smiled as he finally did a play but ran up to where Tweek was missing the whole touchdown area. Craig always seemed to be the person who got to make the hard decisions to score a touchdown in the last few minutes of the game.

  
“Tucker! Get in the game!” The coach said as it was finally time for Craig to actually pay attention or get a penalty for stalling. And he was distracted talking to Tweek even as he stepped on to the field.

  
“I'm baring my soul, here, Coach,” Craig snapped at the coach slightly and the coach looked a bit exasperated.

  
“Craig, I understand and respect your emotional needs.” The coach said being calm and then looked to the ref and Craig quickly did a play so they wouldn’t end up being in trouble.

  
“So, Fridays we usually go out to the lake, watch the sunset. You should come.” Craig said easily as he didn’t watch the game and tossed the ball ending in an incomplete pass. They needed to win this game and Craig was going to be the reason they lost if he didn’t at least get a field goal.

  
“U-Uh…” Tweek made a nervous noise looking at the other team who was looking more and more confident in them winning the game.

  
“Come on, Craig!” A few teammates yelled as the ref called a stall in game and they had to back up a few more yards.

  
“Craig…” Tweek said nervously as he tried not to twitch from all the pressure since he couldn’t put his hands in his hair because he was holding pom poms.

  
“Tucker, run!” The coach yelled at him seeing the clock running down.

  
“If it'll make you score, okay!” Tweek yelled quickly.

  
Craig grinned and looked to the defense and called a play and quickly dodged everyone jumping into the end zone scoring another touchdown at the end of the game the crowd going crazy about how they had yet to lose a game and now got to travel to see more competitive teams. Esther grinned clapping in the stands and as she made eye contact with Tweek she mouthed ‘YOU’ because in reality this was all for Tweek. And Tweek was doing a great job at leading Craig on.

  
“After Thursday's game, it's no question which Tweek T, has taken the School by storm capturing the full attention of the School's greatest prize---Craig Tucker!” Bebe smiled doing her television show as she was carried off by the mascot in celebration.

  
“Tucker! Tucker! Tucker! Tucker! Tucker! Tucker! Tucker!”

 

* * *

 

  
Tweek had the girls over including Wendy as they helped Tweek get ready for the date. He was already wearing some tight khaki pants and a white collared shirt where they were trying to hide a camera somewhere.

  
“Sorry, I've never done this before,” Red apologized touching Tweek’s neck as she tried to connect the camera to his shirt. When she had successfully done it she then went to go grab a bowtie for Tweek.

 

“You put it on his collar? Guys, he is gonna find that... in, like, the first five minutes,” Esther said worried and the girls gave Esther a look. “Or not?” She shrugged laying out a matching colored cardigan with four buttons at the bottom.  

 

“Esther, can you speak into the neck?” Bebe asked and Esther got real close to Tweek’s neck feeling a bit weird but wanting to do what Bebe had asked.

 

“Um... Tweek's neck cam. Testing, testing. Hello,” Esther spoke grinning and moving closer and farther away from Tweek’s neck.

 

“You guys!” Bebe said excitedly showing her ipad where the camera was streaming.

 

“Oh, my gosh!” Red said laughing looking at Esther on the video who was making faces and talking into Tweek’s neck.

 

“Okay, Okay.” Tweek said moving away grabbing the cardigan putting it on to cover up and feel less exposed in front of the girls who were currently in his room.

 

“You know, if we play our cards right, we can keep this going all the way till Craig's birthday.” Red said holding up two different colored bow ties yellow and blue and the girls took a silent vote.

 

“That may just work, See? I've already made a projected Heartbreak Timeline based on Craig's average conquests compared to Tweek's rising Cool Factor.” Bebe explained and Tweek looked at the laptop interested and seeing all the work she had put into the timeline. “So, it leads to two events: the away game and Craig's birthday party. Now, I say our best chance at heartbreak is to see how much he cares about Tweek. So we test him at the away game, and then we crush him…” Bebe went through her plan as Tweek was sat down and Red started doing his hair and they looked at more of his bowties. He didn’t even know he had that many.

 

“At his party,” Esther grinned.

 

“Bingo,” Bebe agreed pointing to Esther who was making offside comments about Tweek’s hair.

 

“How do you know he's going to have a party?” Tweek asked looking to the other girls.

 

“Oh, you're so new, it's cute, Okay. Craig's birthday is, like, homecoming combined with prom combined with MTV Music Awards.” Red explained and Tweek looked a bit confused at the idea of having all of those combined, it really just meant a lot of people and Tweek didn’t really like a lot of people around him. 

 

“So are you ready for him?” Wendy asked interested in how Tweek would do even though she and a few other old friends were reuniting at the Lake that night too. It seemed everyone who had once been friends were reunited at the idea of squashing down Craig, Token, and Clyde.  

 

“Yes, Okay, so, um, I play hard to get. I-I count to three, I've got it,” Tweek’s voice quavered nervously hoping the same rules still applied.

 

“No. That's when you were playing hard to get. You're going out. He's got you,” Esther said nervous now that Tweek wasn’t sure what to do.

 

“So I count... to four?” Tweek said nervously and grabbed his coffee on the bed stand. “Oh, my God, I don't know what I'm doing! I mean, this is a really bad idea, you guys!” Tweek stuttered quickly through his words and then took a sip of his coffee hoping to calm his nerves even just slightly.

 

“Chill out! Look, you're with three girls who know how he operates, okay? You'll be fine,” Bebe snapped and looked to the other girls.

 

“Okay, I'm going to be Craig. Red, be Tweek,” Esther commanded ready to show off exactly how to deal with Craig when you were actually dating him.

 

“I don't want to be Tweek. You be Tweek,” Red retorted.

 

“Can I be Tweek?” Tweek asked.

 

“Fine, let Tweek be Tweek. Just go.” Bebe sighed offhandedly already on board with what was going to happen.

 

“Okay. Baby, it's your lucky day cause I'm going to take you out tonight. Where do you want to go?” Esther smiled putting on the charm her hand on Tweek’s shoulder making their scene a bit more intimate even if Tweek was completely gay.

 

“I do not know. Where do you want to go?” Tweek responded a bit nervously.

 

“No! He's not in control, remember? You are, Right?” Bebe spun Tweek to face her and then continued on with their practicing. “Now, try it with me. Honey, you know I'm all about what makes you happy. So, what movie? Anything you want.” Bebe charmed pretending to be the smooth talking Craig Tucker.

 

Tweek thought about his answer and then put on a bit of attitude and looked at Bebe straight in her eyes. “What do you think I want? And don’t be wrong.”

 

Bebe looked stunned as Esther looked very impressed. “Ka-pow.” Esther shot a finger gun at her and Red agreed saying ‘Nice’ and Tweek grinned all of them now excited to actually prepare for the fake date.

 

“Okay. These shoes and this tie.” Wendy grinned with Esther holding out clothing.

 

“Okay, wait, it can’t hide the camera,” Bebe commented worried about the blue bowtie they were making him wear with his outfit. “Wait take of the sweater maybe Craig will offer his own instead too.” Bebe grinned as Tweek was forced to take off his sweater.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Craig has Tweek now.... Think you'll see a kiss in the next chapter? Let me know :)


	8. Chapter 8: Sparks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I might have missed one day but you know life. We are getting down to the last few chapters here... I'm almost sad to see this project completed but I love seeing all the comments and excitement over seeing the chapters so far. (The puppy thing from the last chapter still applies if anyone wants to give some advice!)
> 
> I own nothing, unedited, all that jazz. Comment, Kudo, Subscribe, and Enjoy~!

The lake wasn’t really a lake, it was a pond. Stark’s Pond to be exact. You had to park on the street and walk on a dirt path up to the lake where there were some benches and a makeshift fire pit. The whole place had lots of trees and some random garbage in a few places. People had already set up blankets and it seemed like they had recently put in picnic tables. Tweek was suddenly glad he’d ended up doing a few things to make sure that he wasn’t anxious leading up to this. Although he was worried he’d end up messing up anyway despite how calm he felt right now.

 

“Tweek, Hey, you made it,” Craig smiled coming up the path to see Tweek in his very cute outfit. Craig himself was wearing jeans a nice shirt his letterman jacket. He put his arm around Tweek’s shoulders and lead him down to the pond.

 

“Yeah,” Tweek smiled to Craig although trying to seem too excited about their fake date.

 

“Hey, Tweek, How's it going?” A girl smiled asking as Craig and Tweek walked down to the edge of the pond.

 

“Hi, Craig, Tweek,” a boy Tweek also didn’t know said hi to them as they kept walking to the pond the sunset actually looking really beautiful in the moment. Even if Tweek was tense at everyone seeming to know his name.

 

“Hey, Tweek,” a girl smiled as Tweek took a seat at the bench in front of the pond.

 

“Looking good, Tweek.” A different girl smiled going up away from the pond.

 

“Hey, Tweek! It's Becky from Student Council,” a girl came up to Tweek smiling.

 

“Oh, hey!” Tweek nervously spoke trying to be polite and the girl left.

 

“Looks like I'm out with the most popular guy in School,” Craig teased and Tweek resisted the moment to give him a look. Craig was still the most popular guy in school despite Tweek’s sudden rise in popularity.

 

“Lucky you,” Tweek answered realizing that he still had to be in control and prove that he was better than anyone else.

 

“So... tell me about yourself. I want to know everything; your whole story.” Craig walked with Tweek by the pond interested in learning about Tweek. Other people around them were talking and drinking what Tweek could only assume was alcohol hopefully he wouldn’t have to decline that later.

 

Tweek’s story, his parent’s own a coffee shop and they traveled across the US opening more stores letting Tweek drink all the coffee he want, even their own special blend. Which would come back to haunt him because the special blend was laced with meth forcing Tweek into having paranoia, hallucinations -at least that’s what everyone said they were-, anxiety, damage to his heart, and twitching. He used to be covered in wounds because of the constant picking at his skin. “Oh, my story. Um... It's still being written.” Tweek settled with that instead of explaining his use of heavy drugs and going in and out of rehab centers and mental health centers.

 

“So... it's a mystery. Mm-hmm, I like mysteries,” Craig looked interested. Craig wanted to know about Tweek, not just his parents coffee shop but what Tweek liked to do when he wasn’t being cheerleader or being a good student.

 

“Really?” Tweek asked in disbelief. “I mean, what do you like about them?” Tweek wondered trying to be cool compared to his accidental slip up.

 

“I do not know, I guess... I like secrets,” Craig shrugged and looked to Tweek as if he was trying to figure out some sort of puzzle.

 

“I bet.” Tweek gave Craig a look when Craig wasn’t looking. Secrets were Craig’s domain, he lied, and kept things from everyone Tweek knew that and Craig did have his own secrets although they probably weren’t what people expected of him.

 

There was a pause where no one was talking and then Craig interrupted it. “Okay, You're right. Too much talking ruins the moment. Let me just stand here and enjoy this.” Craig stopped facing away from the sunset looking back up the trail to the road instead of over the pond.

 

“Craig?” Tweek smiled trying to get Craig’s attention as he stood looking over Tweek’s head.

 

“Shh…” Craig held up a finger to Tweek actually taking in all the people who were currently glancing over at Tweek jealous of Craig.

 

“The sunset is that way.” Tweek pointed out a bit confused and Craig looked back to see the pink and orange colors of the sunset and then looked back to everyone else.

 

“Yeah, no, I'm enjoying everyone staring at me in insane jealousy. Them wishing they were out with a guy like you.” Tweek chuckled softly and Craig looked down a pink hue to his cheeks and took Tweek’s hand going back to walking closer to the pond to sit on a log and watch the sunset. “So, how did I end up out tonight with the most amazing guy in School? I mean, was it my irresistible charm... or... my really nice butt?”

 

“I think it was your incredible modesty.” Tweek remarked teasing Craig at the mention of his own butt.

 

“Liar.” Craig teased catching Tweek in his own teasing making this into his own fun flirting.

 

But of course not too far away in the bushed were three girls listening in on a video camera to make sure Tweek wouldn’t be over his head. “Oh, shit! He's in his zone tonight. I hope Tweek can handle it. The Pond, the sunset…”

 

“At least there's no romantic fire.” Esther counted their blessings while there were still some to have.

 

Tweek and Craig watched the sun go down making some small talk about classes, and the upcoming football games. Craig didn’t mention the stars usually but for some reason when he slipped and mentioned one of the constellations Tweek looked so excited that Craig continued. The big dipper, the little dipper, Arcturus. Leo the lion, Orion, and the Gemini twins. He mentioned a few other things while he waited for the bonfire and marshmallows to start. Soon enough Tweek was roasting marshmallows with Craig.

 

“Ah! Mine's on fire!” Tweek brought his stick back to them and Craig held the stick and blew it out. “Thank you.” Tweek smiled and took the burnt marshmallow off his stick dropping it into a trash bag near them. “Ew.”

 

Stan was cuddling with his boyfriend not paying attention to Craig until Kyle nudged him. Both their attention turning to Criag who was charming the pants off of Tweek who hadn’t been stuttering or nervous more than anyone else. They both knew the look Craig was giving Tweek, the I’m going to drive you home and try to have sex. But there was something else in his look. Something that Kyle and Stan only saw in each other.

 

“So, um... can I give you a ride home?” Craig asked smoothly looking at Tweek who looked a bit startled. He was wearing Craig’s letterman jacket on his shoulders. Craig wasn’t only taller than Tweek but he was bigger which meant that the Jacket was big on him but it served more as a blanket and Tweek found it very nice anyway.

 

“Now?” Craig nodded and waited for an actual answer. “Yeah, Yeah.” Tweek responded quickly even though he wasn’t sure what to do on a ride home he needed to see the girls. He needed to be alone and talk. He thought as they got up holding hands Craig leading Tweek to the car. “Um... I have to pee... That was too much information.”

 

“It's okay. Your secret's safe with me,” Craig smiled adjusting his jacket on Tweek standing close to him. “I gotta make sure Token’s taking Clyde home anyway. So, uh.. I'll meet you at the truck?”

 

“Yeah, Yeah.” Tweek smiled and they parted ways Craig casually going to find his friend while Tweek kind of ran up the trail.

 

“Hello, I need some help here!” Tweek pulled his shirt up to his mouth hoping the girls would get the memo and come help him.

 

“We didn’t prepare him for this.” Bebe looked as if everything had just come crashing down and this was the moment they need the most. And in some moments it was.

 

“Hi!” Esther smiled arriving at the driver’s side window.

 

“Hey!” Tweek jumped slightly and looked to her anxiously. “Okay, a ride home? Wh-what do I do?” he stuttered worried once again he was going to ruin everything.

 

“Just breathe. This is really good, it means he's into you,” Esther explained from the window of the car.

 

“Do you think he's going to make a move?” Tweek asked nervously, he wasn’t sure he could handle being groped or turning down Craig and ruining everything.

 

“No, if anything, it's going to be a kiss. He keeps it PG-13 on the first night. Okay!” Esther quickly looked around to make sure no one was around. “Are you a good kisser?”

 

“I-I-I don’t know, How does anybody know?” Tweek stuttered now more nervous than anything. He’s kissed a few people so it wasn’t like he was inexperienced but it wasn’t the end all be all of kisses.

 

“Do guys tell you you're a good kisser?” Esther asked and easily saw the wave of panic that set in on Tweek’s face.

 

“Oh, my God, I-I'm a bad kisser!” Tweek put his hands in his hair messing it up slightly and Esther realized she now had to calm him down.

 

“Okay, stop.” Esther took control and Tweek did a breathing technique calming himself. “All we need is one kiss and then you leave him wanting more. It is not that hard, okay?” Esther looked to Tweek who shrugged but still looked very nervous. “Oh, my God. I'm going to have to show you, are not I?” Esther looked around and climbed into the car. “Okay, Um…”

 

“Right now?” Tweek asked nervous watching Esther climb into the car still worried about Craig showing up at any moment.

 

“Okay, Quick, Okay. Come here. You lock in on him,” Esther grabbed the back of Tweek’s head pulling him in close. “Grab a piece of that gorgeous head of hair and take control. Hold his gaze. Your lips might like touch, but not yet. It's just gotta be the temptation. And then you give him one light kiss.” Esther spoke softly and then moved her head kissing Tweek lightly but full of passion.

 

“Holy shit you two are lucky.” Wendy shook her head interrupting their kiss as she was going to some fat guy over by the bonfire.

 

“Get out of here, you little perv!” Esther shouted waving Wendy off and turned on the headlights seeing Craig walk up the trail to the car. “Shit!” Esther yelled jumping into the back of the car.

 

“Tweek,” Craig put an arm up so the lights didn’t blind him as he walked up.

 

“I'm gone Tweek.” Esther whispered covering herself with something in the back of the car.

 

“Can you kill the lights?” Craig asked as he rounded the car door.

 

“Uhhhhh... Hey.” Tweek didn’t know what to do as Craig got into the car.

 

“Hi!” Craig smiled settling himself into the driver's seat and then frowned. “What's wrong?” He asked seeing Tweek who was visibly nervous.

 

“Nothing, Nothing. I-I... I was-was breathing. I... I breathe a lot,” Tweek tried to make an excuse but stuttering over his words and as most people would put it being a spaz.

 

“Right.” Craig smiled and started up the car.

 

“Esther's still in the truck,” Bebe said looking at the video realizing that she wasn’t going to be on her way over to the car and they were now in more trouble than ever.

 

“What?” Red asked confused at Bebe’s comment.

 

“Slut in truck! Come on, We gotta move! Oh, my God! Okay, okay, here we go,” Bebe tried to calm herself down as she started up her car Red moving to the passenger seat still watching the video.

 

Tweek was nervous, Esther was in the back of the car. That meant not only was he worried about impressing Craig but he was also worried about making sure Esther wasn’t caught in the back of the car. How everything had gone so wrong he wasn’t necessarily sure but at this point it didn’t matter. Tweek just had to fix everything now and he planned to fix everything he knew he could do this. He’d done it before and he wasn’t going to crack under this pressure, he had this.

 

“So what kind of music you into?” Craig broke his concentration and Tweek realized he was still supposed to be on a date with Craig.

 

“Good music.” Tweek answered easily looking Craig in his eyes and then looking away trying not to glance to the back where Esther was hiding.

 

“Think I might have some of that.” Craig grabbed his phone and selected a song hitting something on his dashboard. “Let's see. Here we go.” Tweek was stunned the song Craig selected was Renegades. Not only was this one of the songs constantly playing in his parents coffee shop it was one of the ones he’d chosen and really liked.

 

“You like X Amabassador?” Tweek asked recognizing the song and wondering if this was something Kyle and Stan had mentioned to Craig in their spying.

 

“You tell me you don’t and I'm kicking you out of the car right now,” Craig pointed to Tweek seeming really passionate about the band that Tweek also really enjoyed.

 

“No, I-I-I love them.” Tweek smiled and felt a kick to the back of his seat obviously being Esther warning him. Tweek’s face fell into more of a bitchy one. “I mean... their okay. I guess, whatever.” Tweek looked out the window smiling softly. Maybe he did have a few things in common with the School’s resident popular kid.

 

Esther was lying on floor when she found a bra ready to be pissed that he’d ended up getting it on with someone she realized that what she found, was her own bra. She quickly and quietly snuck it into her own shirt. She wasn’t going to leave her bra in his car again.

 

“So what are some of your other secrets?” Craig asked, he’d realized that Tweek stuttering out that he loved them was something true to him and not this puzzle facade he was keeping up for some reason. Craig wasn’t sure if the facade was something Tweek did on his own or if he actually felt that way. But hearing he loved the band that Craig had come to enjoy after listening to them when Stan mentioned them was good.

 

“Uh... Well, if I told you, I-I'd have to kill you,” Tweek answered smiling to Craig who smiled back and went back to focusing on the road which helped ease some of Tweek’s paranoia.

 

Craig pulled up to Tweek’s home and Tweek wasn’t sure what to do. Esther was still in the car and she would have to sneak out, that meant Tweek had to create an opportunity for her. “I'm glad we did this. I had a great time,” Craig smiled looking to Tweek in the car not sure what was going to happen.

 

“Me, too.” Tweek unbuckled his seat belt and saw Esther making gestures to get them both out of the car. “Um... Walk me to my door?” Tweek asked creating an opportunity for Esther to escape the car.

 

“Sure.” Craig answered unbuckling his own seat belt and a different car pulled up on the block. One with two girls which was missing a third. “Tweek?” Craig stopped them on the street and Tweek looked over to the car where Esther was sneaking out. “I could walk you to your door... But then I'd be too tempted to kiss you. And I really like you. You know? And I-I don't want to risk anything by moving too fast.” Tweek looked to Craig and then back to the car where Esther still wasn’t gone because she was now stuck her skirt in the door. “So... rather than torture myself... I'm just going to say good night. So... good night.”

 

Tweek panicked Craig couldn’t leave yet not when Esther was still stuck. He grabbed Craig’s shoulder pulling him back and their heads colliding together. “Ow!” Tweek groaned touching his forehead.

 

“Ow,” Craig mumbled touching his own forehead. This wasn’t what he had planned for their almost first kiss and then end of their date.

 

“I-I think I bobbed when you weaved,” Tweek stuttered out nervously, he’d ruined their kiss but at least Craig was still standing there his focus on Tweek instead of where Esther was escaping.

 

“Yeah,” Craig rubbed his forehead and then looked at the blonde green eyes boy.

 

“He's going off-book. What just happened?” Bebe asked looking at the video.

 

“Is that Esther?” Red asked seeing Esther still connected to the car.

 

“What?” Bebe asked confused looking up and seeing Esther point to her skirt still connected to the car.

 

“Okay. Bye,” Craig once again turned to leave except this time Tweek put both his hands on either side of his head forcing Craig's attention on him.

 

“I always like a little risk.” Tweek confidently spoke holding onto the back of Craig’s neck and the side of his cheek. Tweek leaned in their perfect kiss the temptation rising. Their lips met softly in a sweet tender kiss. Just as it had started Tweek leaned away slowly breaking them apart looking over to the car and seeing Esther finally gone. Tweek had no idea his family still had the sprinklers on, hell it had snowed more often than not. Which meant they didn’t need the sprinklers and yet here he was with Craig getting completely wet and caught off guard. “Oh, my gosh!” Tweek jumped at the first moment of getting wet.

 

“Come on,” Craig grabbed Tweek’s hand and pulled him up to the door of Tweek’s home where they couldn’t get wet.

 

“Uh-oh.” Bebe’s eyebrows furrowed seeing the picture suddenly blur, “Something is not right.”

 

Tweek smiled watching Craig shake off his arm both of them still wet. Then they looked gazes. It was the first real time Craig had seen Tweek, the blonde messy but styled hair now damp and lying slightly flat, his feminine and small frame but still gorgeous looking like the perfect, well twink. But his eyes, those were his best features, they weren’t just green. They were a soft meadow green with gold inside of them giving them a wild look but all the more caring and compassionate. And while Craig stared into Tweek’s eyes Tweek did the same thing, Craig knew what he saw, blue. They’d been a dark brown until a fateful day down to Peru which he would never talk about to anyone. Sometimes things were better left unsaid.

 

Craig brushed a strand of hair away from Tweek’s face and leaned in. Their eyes closed as their lips met. Craig’s hand fell slowly from Tweek’s face he didn’t need to have his hand on Tweek, the kiss was enough. The heat they both created even though both were wet from sprinklers and even if there weren’t bells or fireworks. In that moment all they could think about was this moment. Slow, and soft, in the way that even radio hosts, and Bob Ross couldn’t even comprehend. And right as things were heating up even more there was a burst of electricity shocking them both.

 

“Wh... whoa.” Craig touched his lips slowly feeling something he’d never felt before and then looked to Tweek who seemed to be twitching slightly despite his best efforts not to. “Tweek?” Craig asked concerned seeing him look so nervous unlike how confident Tweek had been before.

 

“U-Um... I don't want to risk anything by going t-too fast.” Tweek stuttered out and quickly ran into the house still feeling shocked by the camera malfunctioning. He quickly pulled it out of his shirt and it feel to the floor. “Ah, Ah.” Tweek sighed in relief and smiled although the kiss was cut short it seemed better that way… actual sparks between them.

 

Craig smiled touching his lips again when he was alone on the front porch. He looked back to the door a goofy grin still on his face. He went around the sprinklers and finally got to his car and sighed.

 

Esther climbed over to their car opening the door her jacket covering her bottom half. “It's not even my date and he still gets me out of my skirt.” Esther complained getting to the car to grab her stuff where she had more clothing as the other girls stared.

 

On the other hand Craig was still thinking about Tweek, and the kiss. The kiss was nothing he’d ever experienced, it was better than anything he’d ever experienced and he’d kissed lots of people. He’d even kissed Kenny who was arguably one of the best kissers in the whole school and it was nothing like that.

 

Tweek sighed and grabbed a towel from the linen closet and put the wet camera on the table and frowned drying himself off. These were the moments when coffee wouldn’t help him. He wanted something stronger and he knew meth wasn’t far away. And yet he’d come so far from being away from that, yet his addict tendencies never did him any favors.

 

“Whoa, Honey, what happened?” his mom came into the kitchen seeing him all wet.

 

“The sprinklers. Sorry.” Tweek mumbled his hands twitching as he made himself some regular coffee.

 

“Oh! That could ruin a date, huh?” His mom mused making herself some of their own special blend of coffee. Tweek knew if he did go back to having that coffee he’d end up in a hospital or worse.

 

“It wasn't a real date, Mom,” Tweek explained sipping his own coffee. His mother had seen him go on a date but never when he was one of the most popular kids in school. That was different but Tweek was having fun and his mom didn’t want him to go back to being an invisible mess.

 

“Right. Um... Listen, uh... I don't think this is such a good idea. You know, pretending to like a guy. I just... I don't want to see you get hurt.” She sipped her coffee a bit nervous about bringing up Tweek’s new found popularity.

 

“I'm not going to get hurt. He is.” Tweek frowned a bit mad that his mom would think he’d be the one to get hurt in all of this.

 

“My advice... is not to do this,” his mother grabbed her coffee cup going to the doorway and Tweek frowned a bit pissed.

 

“Mom, there's a lot of things I come to you for advice about... but this is not one of them, I'm sorry, but... honestly, how many Craig Tuckers have pulled a hit-and-run on you?” Tweek asked knowing his mother before she had settled down with his dad was hot and dated many guys.

 

“That's not fair. I met your father and settled down,” his mother frowned looking at Tweek realizing her son wasn’t twitching and was actually being a normal kid.

 

“Right, yeah. The drummer, the guy in rehab and, throw in that one from the tanning salon and you've hit the tri-fecta.” Tweek commented and Tweek’s mother looked shocked leaning back slightly to look over her son.

 

“When did you get like this? A month ago, you wouldn't like you right now.” She commented wondering where all the confidence and suddenly normal full of attitude and rebellious teen had come from. This had never been Tweek, and he had been sent to rehab, mental wards, multiple schools, and been on many a few different types of drugs. Prescription and not.

 

“A month ago, nobody liked me.” Tweek pointed out sipping his coffee and grabbing the towel turning to leave.

 

“I did.” his mother spoke softly and Tweek could just feel the hurt in her voice. He turned around to face her guilt covering his whole face.

 

“I'm sorry, I just... It's been a long night,” Tweek breathed in heavily a twitch appearing in his fingers. “I'm a little... you know…” he didn’t wanna blame anything on medication but he also didn’t want his mother to be mad at him. So, blaming it on something else was easier than saying he was being an asshole.

 

“Yeah, it's okay. I got a little of that, too.” Tweek’s mother smiled pointing to the coffee and he flushed. It always came back to coffee with his family, it was their safe haven and if they needed to feel normal they drank coffee.

 

“Good night.” Tweek smiled softly and went to the stairs.

 

“Tweek?” He stopped just before he hit the stairs his mother following him into the living room. “Just be careful who you pretend to be. I mean, I'd hate if you forgot who you are.”

 

He shrugged, “I was nobody, so there's really no risk in losing anything.”  


	9. Chapter 9: Stars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took a vacation and Puppy is doing so much better yay! We should be back to the regular schedule. And I just realized that we might get an extra bonus chapter 15 or it'll just end up being 14 chapters. 
> 
> I own nothing, unedited, all that jazz. Comment, Kudo, Subscribe, and Enjoy~!

Tweek actually had to study for a test and that meant unless Craig actually sought him out, which Craig did, Tweek didn’t see him. The girls had once again been coming over any time they could although Tweek did expand his friends to include Kyle and Stan. He figured it was better that his parents didn’t see him with just girls. Although half the time he did have male friends people thought he was dating them. But recently Craig was trying to get Tweek out over the weekend and so far he had told Craig he wasn’t sure he was doing anything. And when the girls came over right after school they started counting phone calls and how often Craig drove by the house.

 

“So, how long till you think he's back again?” Esther asked as she currently was doing Tweek’s right hand with nail polish, his left was done first because he had to use it to do homework. Bebe and Red decided to play video games instead of doing each other’s nails or anything else.

 

“I say he'll show up in the next... 30 seconds?” Bebe grinned and they paused the game and ran to the window Esther nodding to Tweek as in a wait a little bit but your nails are done. “Come on,” Bebe called them over all of them peering out the window without trying to be spotted by Craig. “Ah, like clockwork. That's call number five,” Bebe raised an eyebrow as Craig parked on the other side of the street.

 

“That's two calls past desperate,” Esther commented since they’d been keeping track of how many times Tweek’s phone went off with All-American Rejects, dirty little secret. They thought the irony was fantastic. Even though Craig was usually the one with the dirty little secret this time it was actually Tweek and that somehow made it even better.

 

“Get it,” Bebe grinned and Tweek picked up the phone putting it on speakerphone.

 

“Hello?” Tweek answered even though he already knew who it was.

 

“Hey, Tweek, It's me,” Tweek waited as the other girls tried to cover their giggles. “Craig?” Tweek waited even more, “Craig Tucker.”

 

“Oh, yeah. Hey, Um, I just got in. What's up?” Tweek responded sounding very sweet and saw Esther calling him over to the window and Tweek scooted over to the window to where the others were.

 

“So, did you figure out if you were doing anything on Saturday?” Craig asked and Tweek stalled slightly.

 

“Um... yeah, I did,” Tweek tried not to stutter through his words, “And... Oh, crap.”

 

“What's the matter?” Craig asked concerned as Tweek and the girls looked out the window.

 

“Uh, some perv's was checking out the house and I think I see him.” Craig leaned back in his seat trying not to be seen. This was not him, Craig did not stalk people, “I think he's in a Jeep or something.” Tweek commented and the girls all ducked down trying not to laugh.

 

“Really? You want me to cruise by and check it out?” Craig asked trying to keep is normally calm and cool posterior.

 

“No, We're just gonna call the cops.” Tweek grinned and the girls covered their mouths so they wouldn’t make a sound.

 

“O-Okay. Well, I'll-I'll talk to you later then,” Craig hung up the phone starting up the car. “Shit.” Craig reversed and hit some trash cans on the street and quickly sped away a car alarm going off. Bebe held the video camera out the window all of them laughing watching the normal cool guy break character and hit trash cans.

 

* * *

 

 

The girls figured if they’d hit stalking potential... it was time to let Craig take Tweek out on a real date. They’d worried over Tweek’s outfit for basically the whole day even doing his makeup,  _ why do you have bags under your eyes? Do you ever sleep? No _ , And his hair which was nice because Esther brought over some sort of natural hair growth stimulate to massage into his scalp and it smelled like Rosemary.

 

Craig looked nice, really nice. He’d picked Tweek up and parked where Tweek originally worked now he worked for his parents in the shop because it was easier hours. So when Tweek turned to go into the restaurant Craig smiled pulling his hand in a different direction. “What? We're not eating here?” Tweek asked confused.

 

“Nah, I thought we'd do take-out,” Craig commented cryptically as they got onto a dirt road and Tweek frowned.

 

Tweek heard a loud crash behind him and jumped cuddling up to Craig on accident. His old coworker had dropped a whole lot of food and plates as she cried seeing Tweek and Craig together. Although neither of them turned to see this. “Wait, where are we going?” Tweek asked nervously his paranoia getting the best of him.

 

“Well, I could tell you... but then I'd have to kill you.” Craig smiled and then Tweek laughed slightly hearing the same words he’d once told Craig. “Come on,” Craig pulled Tweek down a dirt path. Leading them to an ATV and both of them got on and drove up into the mountains.

 

“Okay.” Tweek smiled as he held on ignoring the persistent what if questions. What if they fell off and died, what if they ran out of gas and couldn’t get home, what if it snowed and they got hypothermia.

 

“There's our table,” Craig stopped the ATV and Tweek looked seeing a picnic blanket with a basket under the night sky.

 

“Oh, my gosh,” Tweek was stunned. The only light around was the light coming from the stars and moon.

 

“Where are they?” Esther asked walking into the restaurant somehow losing Tweek and Craig.

 

“Where'd they go?” Red asked frustrated not seeing them in the restaurant they usually dated in.

 

“Wait. You guys... I can’t tell where they are,” Bebe asked confused seeing only darkness on the screen. They all looked seeing the crying waitress cleaning her mess and point to the outside. “Okay, it's... it's sure dark,”

 

“What?” Esther asked confused looking at the video too.

 

“I do not know, Outside, maybe?” Bebe snapped not liking being hovered over.

 

“No effin 'way!” Red nudged the other two girls pointing to the ATV and the picnic set up on the mountain.

 

“ATV? Has anybody else was on the ATV? I've never been on the ATV.” Esther asked in disbelief in the fact that Craig was treating Tweek way better than he’d treated them.

 

“Nobody even told me he had an ATV!” Red snapped not sure how they were going to end up being where Tweek and Craig had gone given the fact that they were going up a mountain.

 

“He's not equipped to handle this.” Bebe said looking at them riding up the mountain. “Huh, I'm losing them. I'm losing them!” Bebe panicked and Esther tapped the screen a few times trying to see if that would help the signal, it didn’t.

 

“Hey!” Bebe pulled the video away from her and they all looked at the video seeing Tweek sitting on the blanket talking to Craig.

 

_ “Oh, Craig,” Tweek smiled. _

 

_ “I'm serious,” Craig smiled back to Tweek. _

 

“We've gotta get out there,” Bebe commented and all three of them ran to the nearest rental place to hopefully get an ATV.

 

“Come on! We've gotta get there now-ish,” Bebe pestered seeing the video once again become fuzzy.

 

“I can’t! This motor sucks,” Esther said as they drove around 5 miles per every hour on what looked like an over 20 mile drive.

 

“Can’t you go a little faster?” Bebe begged pissed that they were going to lose the signal.

 

“No,” Esther rolled her eyes already going as fast she could with the stupid ATV.

 

“Get me off, I could run faster than you!” Bebe snapped at Esther who rolled her eyes.

 

“Just pretend it's hunting and... go Greenpeace on their asses!” Red yelled frustrated at the slow speed climbing over and putting her foot on the gas over Esther’s own.

 

“What?” Esther went to complain when the ATV suddenly stopped. “Hey! Hey!” Esther complained “Nice, Gilligan here just stalled the engine,” Esther complained moving her hands around like was going to smack Red.

 

“I'll give you ‘Gilligan,’” Red commented and tried to start up the engine again and it made a loud noise and smoke came out.

 

“Okay, This is fine. This is why God invented Triple-A.” Esther pulled out her phone and looked horrified. “Oh, no.”

 

“What?” Red asked seeing Esther look like she was going to freak out.

 

“No signal.” Esther answered her eyes huge.

 

“What? No signal?” The other girls muttered and pulled out their phones seeing the same thing. All three girls stood up and yelled not sure exactly what might happen.

 

It was the first time Tweek was truly alone with Craig, Tweek couldn’t dream of a perfect date should be, and yet, if he could dream of how a date should be Craig Tucker did it better.

 

“I mean, when do you cue the shooting star?” Tweek asked teasing Craig as they sat on the picnic blanket

 

“Right,” Craig sighed looking up at the stars.

 

“I mean, no-no-no-no, do not get me wrong. It's... It's really nice, but... are you really that scared... to just hang out and be yourself?” Tweek asked slightly stuttering though his words nervous knowing they were alone in the dark.

 

“Okay, Fair enough. But it is terrifying, trying to impress you,” Craig blushed looking at Tweek softly.

 

“Me?” Tweek asked confused, no one tried to impress Tweek. He could be impressed if you got through a test without freaking out his bar of being impressed was low.

 

“Tweek, I mean... you come out of nowhere... and you've got high school dialed in.” Craig looked at Tweek who shook his head smiling,

 

“I do not really think I'm that dialed.” Tweek laughed softly. “No, uh, you're the varsity captain... and the most popular guy in school, yeah?” Tweek pointed out.

 

“Right, right, right,” Craig sighed and Tweek looked a bit confused. “Yeah, um, I guess, You know, I'm-I'm just lucky,” Tweek gave him a look. “Okay... I'm really lucky. Yeah, and-and-and that's why I'd be crazy... not to make the most of it.” He paused staring into Tweek’s green eyes. “Look, Tweek... Maybe sometimes I come on too strong. I do not know who else to be. You know, I just gotta put my whole heart into things.”

 

Craig leaned in getting ready to kiss Tweek. “That sounds like an easy way to get it broken,” Tweek interrupted the moment and Craig sighed.

 

“Well... luckily, I... figured out a way... to protect myself against that.” He smiled and took Tweek’s hand, “Some kick-ass dance moves.”

 

“What? Wha...? Oh, my gosh!” Craig dipped Tweek slightly moving them side to side in a small dance. “I was not ready for that.”

 

“I was thinking about going pro,” Craig smiled dancing them under the night stars a few of his favorite things all around him.

 

“Oh?” Tweek laughed as they swayed from side to side.

 

“Laugh all you want. There was a scout in the stands at last year's prom.”

 

They danced under the stars and held each other close, Tweek heard about Craig’s trip to Peru with his old friends. He mentioned never getting back the 100 dollars and turned them down the next time they came to his door. Craig however didn’t mention the part about being captured by the government or stopping a guinea pig invasion. Or the fact that ever since that day he could shoot lasers from his eyes. Tweek talked about how many schools he’d gone to and how he knew a lot about coffee. He also mentioned trying to cut down but hadn’t been successful although he did drink decaf now. Craig mentioned it hadn’t helped his height and Tweek smiled at the teasing. It was the perfect date, even down to the kiss goodbye.


	10. Chapter 10: Locker Room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about missing last week! Hopefully this makes up for it!
> 
> I own nothing, unedited, all that jazz. Comment, Kudo, Subscribe, and Enjoy~!

Tweek didn’t see the girls until school during lunch where he met them in the ‘Kill Craig Tucker Room’ which they’d now abbreviated to KCTR. They all gasped immediately swarming up to Tweek. They stared at Tweek as he held his coffee cup nervously.

 

“Oh, my gosh, spill it,” Bebe said immediately looking at Tweek as he looked more nervous than usual.

 

“We need to know everything, Every detail right now.” They spoke over each other in a mess of demands and emotions.

 

“I... You- I mean, you-you guys dated him, You know,” Tweek spoke nervously and Bebe turned away as Red came closer.

 

“Not under the stars. What the hell happened out there?” Red asked looking worried and curious.

 

“Um... nothing, you know? It was just-We... We talked... and it was... It was nice.” Tweek smiled softly thinking of the stories and the confessions both of them had shared.

 

“You just talked? You mean, he was able to... get intimate without being... like... intimate?” Esther asked seeming jealous about the fact that Tweek had seen a side she hadn’t.

 

“Okay. Craig is telling him anything he wants to hear. Look, the only way to see if Craig’s really fallen for him is to see how far Tweek can push him at the hotel after the away game.” Bebe explained getting them back on track.

 

“Right, Yeah, I-I... I can do that,” Tweek nodded. This was what they all wanted, Craig lied and manipulated and Tweek shouldn’t like him. Tweek  _ doesn’t _ like him.

 

“Oh, no, Oh, no, I know that look. He's got you under his spell.” Esther shook her head slowly looking into Tweek’s eyes and analyzing his nervous body behavior.

 

“What? No! I-I... Come on,” Tweek defended himself.

 

“No, you come on. You cannot lose focus going into the finals.” Red complained using a sports metaphor which was lost on the never-actually-did-any-sports-competitions-Tweek.

 

“Tweek, we all believed him... but there is no way to know what this guy is really thinking.” Esther was pleading for Tweek to see the light and not fall under Craig Tucker’s spell.

 

“Yes, there is,” Bebe picked up a video camera and left the others behind.

 

Tweek shook off Bebe’s behavior and the others getting excited for chemistry. He had a new joke for Kyle and Stan since they’d been doing only puns and jokes as they worked in class. It had been different and fun from the regular school work. Especially since Tweek had been doing better and not stuttering through his words that often. It was like everything had changed with dating Craig. And although he knew somewhere deep it wasn’t real with Craig, his confidence was.

 

* * *

 

 

“So, hydrogen and oxygen are getting a drink... and gold walks in and the bartender goes... ‘AU! Get outta the bar!’ Cause, you know, AU is... the atomic symbol for gold.” Tweek grinned as he sat at their lab table where Kyle looked pissed and Stan was forlorn.

 

“Yeah, Yeah, I-I got it,” Stan looked sad and started getting the lab table ready.

 

“Oh, good. You're gonna help me measure with the doodad and everything,” Tweek smiled as he pulled out his lab sheet happy that everything seemed to be going really well.

 

“Oh, I actually thought we'd work with Kenny today,” Stan explained looking at Tweek finally to his actual face.

 

“Don’t rope me into this! I’ll stay with you Tweek.” Kyle snapped at Stan and smiled to Tweek, “Don’t worry I’m not leaving.”

 

“Oh, I... Well, he's gonna take you back... without an insurance waiver?” Tweek tried to tease his voice faltering from his once good mood.

 

“Yeah, well, he's warmed up to us... since his eyebrows grew back,” Stan explained and Tweek saw Kyle role his eyes. 

 

Kenny walked up and as Stan had said his eyebrows didn’t look drawn on and more natural. “Hello Tweek.” 

 

“Kenny…” Tweek twitched his hand nervously, “I’ll go.”

 

“Nope!” Kenny said as tweek was putting his things together. “Others have groups of fours too. So why not us. Besides I’d love to talk more about Craig.”

 

“Uh…” Tweek didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want to talk about Craig especially to Kenny. He was however successful in ignoring Kenny. Kyle every time Kenny would ask a question have Kenny do something with the lab so they didn’t have time to talk.

 

At the end of the class Tweek ran out so he wouldn’t be cornered by Kenny. He was different, like Tweek except Kenny pulled off being different way better than Tweek did. Maybe in a different circumstance he would have been great friends with the other blonde but at the moment all he had was hatred.  

  
  


* * *

 

 

Bebe had not only decided to go into the boy’s locker room but to film what they said. She hid in an unused Locker happy that she fit and waited for them to come in. “I'm reporting from behind enemy lines, a fortress, if you will, where the innermost workings of the male psyche reveal themselves. Like a slide under a microscope,” Bebe recorded herself and quickly turned the camera around to film the boys when they came in.

 

“Good practice, Good practice!” The guys patted themselves on the back a different one saying, “Central is going down!”

 

Then came the armpit farts each of them trying to outdo the next one. “That's disgusting,” Bebe mumbled from inside her locker.

 

“Hey, look, Ma! No hands!” One of the guys said facing away from Bebe and let one rip. Bebe gagged trying not to think of the smell or pass out.

 

“Disgusting, Nice work. Oh!” Craig waved his hand around blowing air trying to get past the cloud of smell. “Nachos? Damn! I think it was nachos.”

 

“Holy guacamole. Away game, dude, You gonna be my wingman?” Clyde asked as Craig sat down on one of the benches towel in hand.

 

“Naw, I think I'm just gonna hang out with Tweek tonight,” Craig said digging through his bag looking for his socks and shoes.

 

“Aw, come on, So we gotta take care... of all that Central High tail without you?” Kenny asked a grin on his face as he smacked Craig’s shoulder going to his locker putting on his hoody. All the guys had been grateful that his eyebrows had finally grown back.

 

“Guess so.” Craig shrugged tying his shoelaces.

 

“Ah, come on, man! We gonna get us some girls... or are you gonna act like one?” Token asked from his own locker putting on a shirt. The other guys making ‘oooooo’ noises.

 

“That's messed up, Token,” Craig looked to Token. “Aren’t you dating Nicole right now anyway?”

 

“Nah, we broke up because her father’s on the black thing again.” Token shrugged, Nicole’s father was weird they kept breaking up and getting back together because her father kept deciding he hated or didn’t hate the fact that Token was black. Even if Token’s family was rich.

 

“Craig, Please, please tell me... you tapped that by now!” Clyde asked and the other guys hollered.

 

“Boys, Boys, Look... you do not just pop an '82 Bordeaux cause it's on your shelf.” Craig said standing up getting everyone’s attention.

 

“Oh, please,” Bebe whispered rolling her eyes.

 

“Great things take time,” Craig defended himself. Tweek was much more than just some conquest.

 

“Man, you whipped!” Cartman yelled and hit him with a towel.

 

“Whipped, man!” A bunch of other guys got in on it taking their own towels and hitting Craig with them.

 

“Hey Hey! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!” Craig got everyone’s attention standing on the bench. He was not going to be called whipped by the guy who never left Wendy’s side no. “Nobody is whipped, okay? Craig Tucker is not whipped.” He held his middle fingers out to his teammates.

 

“Oh, here we go,” Bebe whispered knowing this was going to be the real reason why she snuck into this locker room.

 

“Let's just say, at tonight's away game... I'm gonna be scoring more than touchdowns,” Craig grinned jumping down

 

“Bingo,” Bebe smiled, this was what she needed and this is what she wanted.

 

“Okay, okay, Uncork it, then pork it. Now that's my man!” Clyde grinned high fiving Craig.

 

“Touchdown, baby.” Craig danced as the rest of the guys got on board with the whole waiting to have sex thing. One of them even put on some sort of hit song about fucking and Bebe slightly recognized the artist to Post Malone.

 

“We are so gonna get him,” Bebe whispered.

 


	11. Chapter 11: South Park Cows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was so tired monday I might have forgotten about this... I also had my birthday so now this is technically late but wow we are getting to the last few chapters! That's kinda really cool for me at least. 
> 
> I own nothing, unedited, all that jazz. Comment, Kudo, Subscribe, and Enjoy~!

Tweek was one of those people who had a hard time packing. It didn’t matter that he’d only be gone for tonight, one night, and coming back tomorrow night his mind jumped to conclusions. He finally looked at his bag and sighed pissed. His cheer outfit, bows -since Red had turned him on to wearing them in his hair to hold it back-, pom poms, two water bottles, a brush, clothing for a week, multiple pairs of shoes, all the stuff for his hair the girls had come to give him, meds, phone, charger, bathroom stuff, wallet, food, and then it got into the weird stuff. He’d ended up packing cleaning supplies, medical stuff, a sword, books, toilet paper, board games, a nerf gun, a foldable chair, and more. 

 

“Mom?” Tweek called knowing she’d hear him. 

 

“Yes dear?” his mother smiled walking in holding a cup of coffee. It was times like these where he wondered how the hell his parents hadn’t had a heart attack with all the coffee they drank.

 

“Will you help me pack?” Tweek asked his shoulder jerking as an obvious twitch. 

 

“Of course,” She put the coffee down on his desk and looked at the bags on his bed. “Alright let’s put all of this away and start from the beginning.” She smiled her smooth voice calming Tweek down. After they’d put everything away his mother actually started putting in things he’d need. “I got you this toiletry bag so you can keep everything organized,” Tweek loved his mother. “We’ll put your hair brush, shampoo, conditioner, and styling stuff in this pocket. In this pocket we’ll put your toothbrush, tooth paste, floss, and mouthwash.” Tweek wasn’t sure when she got travel sized bottles of everything he used but he wasn’t going to complain.

 

“Thank you.” Tweek smiled a bit flustered that his mother was now packing his bag. He helped and put in shaving stuff into the next pocket and then his hair ties, and pins.

 

“Of course.” His mother smiled and left for a second before coming back with a small box with different sections in it. A pill box. She took his meds and separated them into each box a label already on the top. Saturday morning, Saturday night. She also showed off a small red bag with the words first aid kit. “This has tape, meds for your friends, bandaids and a full survival guide. You won’t need it but if you do you’ll be covered.” 

 

Suddenly Tweek didn’t seem paranoid, all his thoughts were ended when he saw the small bag. That was everything he’d ever need, he was prepared for everything. His mother put the small bag in his cheer bag and put in workout clothing, shoes, pompoms, and his outfit. She noticed the bows hanging on the side. “I uh, the girls keep giving them to me,” He blushed.

 

“I’m sure you look fantastic in them,” She smiled and then packed his actual bag clothing four days shorts and pants with two jackets, long sleeve and short sleeve shirts, PJs, and a pair of sunglasses. She put the two water bottles into the side pockets of his cheer bag and pulled out a small bag of Tweek’s putting in the snacks headphones and a different charger.

 

“Do you think I’ll be able to get homework done?” Tweek asked and his mother smiled shaking her head.

 

“And you shouldn’t worry about it. But you can put your laptop in here too, just in case.” His mother put in his laptop and suddenly he was packed. “I’ll put your cheer bag by the door. Put your toiletries in your bag and grab your phone. I’ll put your wallet, chapstick and sunscreen in the front pocket okay?” 

 

Tweek nodded and his mother kissed his forehead taking the bag out with her. He sighed knowing that this was one of the reasons why his mother was worried about him going off to college. He was still a mess even if he had gotten better over the years. 

 

“But loving him was Red…. loving him was Red,” Tweek’s phone rang with Taylor Swift’s Red  playing. 

 

“Hello Red,” Tweek smiled picking up the phone. 

 

“Hi Tweek, just making sure you’re all good to go tonight? I was packing my makeup when I thought of you. I figured I’d bring extra of stuff you might need. Also I was able to pull strings and you are rooming with Kyle and Stan. So we’ll invade your room to help you get ready too.” Red explained why she called and Tweek smiled. 

 

“Thank you. I just finished packing, Red c-can I ask you… a q-question?” Tweek stuttered nervously and Red sighed.

 

“If this is about us being friends after all of this the answer is yes. Even if you go back to dating Craig while he’s dating someone else.” She teased and Tweek laughed, “Well I gotta go I’ll be by to pick you up soon? I call dibs on sitting next to you during the ride over.”

 

“Alright,” Tweek smiled his paranoia settled for the day. “See you soon.”

 

Tweek sang along and chatted with the girls on the way over to the game then came getting ready for the game. The girls decided that Tweek was finally gonna wear one of those bows they kept giving him. They started out by flat ironing his hair for more length and then  put the bow in and curled the rest of it. Tweek pouted about seeing his hair really look like the girls until he saw a guy check him out. 

 

Then came the game. It was more about the game than anything but during halftime the other cheer team decided it would be fun to pull out a mat and see who would be the best at landing stunts. The other team explained that they usually did this and had never been beaten just like their team. It had gotten to the point where the other team was doing more complicated stunts and no one else could beat them.

 

“Roundoff, backhandspring, full, layout.” A girl said and ran completing the move and Red looked pissed as the other team celebrated.

 

“Y-y-y-you owe me for this.” Tweek finally put the pom poms down and stepped up to the mat.  “Roundoff, back handspring, double layout, half twist.” 

 

“Why not just do a full?” the other team scoffed as Tweek was getting ready to go. 

 

“Because half means you land blind duh. And it’s the Biles.” They grinned and Tweek took a deep breath and ran completing the move and the crowd screamed.

 

Red ran over hugging Tweek laughing as the other team tried not to look too upset. The worse part? The South Park Cows won.  So, your team's just won the semifinals... you're at a hotel with all your friends… Now it was time to get back to business. They were all separated 4 to a room and three for the lucky few. 

 

Tweek was lying on the bed watching TV as Stan took a shower. There was a knock on the door and Kyle went to go open it. And suddenly their room was being filled with girls.

 

“Come on! Get up! Let's go.” Bebe walked into the room seeing Tweek laying on the bed.

 

“Now the real game begins.” Esther grinned putting a pink bag in Tweek’s lap. 

 

“Are you sure we're not going too far?” Tweek asked looking at the present inside of the bag. Not only was it underwear, it was very sexy underwear. Since Tweek had explained he didn’t wear underwear the girls had to go out and buy some. 

 

“Stan,” Kyle walked into the bathroom. “Get out we need to leave our room is being invaded, besides i’m hungry.”

 

The girl stared at Stan and Kyle until they left and Tweek shrugged. Finally when the door was closed the girls moved into action getting Bebe’s laptop set up at the table and moving chairs around.

 

“Look... this game's in crunch time, Tweek, do you know what happens when you let your guard down... around Craig Tucker?” Red asked still in cheerleader mode.

 

Tweek shook his head nervously. “Bebe, show her. You need to see this.” Esther said and they moved over to the table to see the laptop.

 

“Here.” Bebe said getting up from the seat at the table and pressed play on the video. 

 

_ “Man, you whipped!” Cartman yelled and hit him with a towel. _

_ “Whipped, man!” A bunch of other guys got in on it taking their own towels and hitting Craig with them. _

_ “Hey Hey! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!” Craig got everyone’s attention standing on the bench. He was not going to be called whipped by the guy who never left Wendy’s side no. “Nobody is whipped, okay? Craig Tucker is not whipped.” He held his middle fingers out to his teammates. _

_ “Let's just say, at tonight's away game... I'm gonna be scoring more than touchdowns,” Craig grinned jumping down. _

_ “Okay, okay, Uncork it, then pork it. Now that's my man!” Clyde grinned high fiving Craig. _

_ “Touchdown, baby.” Craig danced as the rest of the guys got on board with the whole waiting to have sex thing as Rockstar Post Malone played. _

 

Tweek looked appalled when he saw the video. He thought Craig saw him differently than just some conquest. “Craig Tucker, you are going down,” Tweek got up grabbing the pink bag and going into the bathroom.

 

Bebe sat down and held her hands up the other two high fiving her since they were back on track the ‘Kill Craig Tucker’ Train. They didn’t wanna bug Tweek as he took so long in the bathroom but they also knew it was taking longer than expected. So when Tweek did come out of the bathroom and showed off the black see through robe and black skin tight low rise boxer briefs the girl’s mouths dropped.

 

“What? Is it okay?” Tweek asked suddenly panicking that he didn’t look good just like he had suspected in the bathroom.

 

“You should totally wear underwear to school.” Bebe said looking Tweek over who’s eyebrows furrowed confused.

 

“He's hot!” Esther grinned and Tweek striked a pose. The other girls also made comments as Tweek grinned but after it was over they had Tweek sit in front of the laptop and explained the plan. 

 

 

* * *

 

  
  
Token was using Craig’s computer to play a game while Craig was in the bathroom when a message popped up. “Tweek T is video calling Craig T’?” Token grinned saying the message a bit loudly so Craig would hear him.

 

“Okay, you're gone,” Craig came into the room as Token got up grinning.

 

“All right! Playa-playa!” Token grinned and looked over Craig’s shoulder not really leaving.

 

“Come on, Token. Bye-bye.” Craig shooed Token out of the room and answered the call a smile on his face, “Hey, there.”

 

“Hey, You alone?” Tweek asked a bit anxious his leg tapping to a nonexistent beat.

 

“Yeah, You?” Craig asked checking behind him really quickly.

 

“Yeah, It's so sad... 'cause I'm s... I'm so…” Tweek looked up seeing Esther holding a paper with his next word. “Lovely,” and the girl’s eyes went wide shaking their heads and Bebe fixing the word quickly. “Lonely! I'm so lonely.” Tweek fixed himself hoping Craig would just chalk it up to nerves.

 

“Well, maybe I could... come over there and keep you company.” Craig grinned although it was basically forbidden for girls and boys to be in the same room and for any room swapping to happen.

 

“Oh, I'd like that... but there's a problem. Coach Williams is out in the hall. She's totally watching. There's no way you could get in here,” Tweek sighed faking sadness.

 

“Damn it,” Craig cursed his night ruined. 

 

“Unless... you went out on the ledge... and came in the sliding door?” Tweek shrugged and the girls grinned. Tweek was nervous about this part they were high up and Tweek didn’t want Craig to get hurt. But the girls insisted and said that he’d be fine.

 

“Yeah, right,” Craig said sarcastically.

 

“Yeah, that's crazy. It's too bad, I got all... dressed up.” Tweek saw Red pull her shirt down to her shoulder on one side. “Or... down….” Tweek moved his shoulder the robe falling.

 

“I-I could try the balcony,” Craig stared at Tweek’s body it was the first time he’d seen the small but muscular frame of the coffee addicted boy.

 

The other girls were celebrating and giving each other high fives as Tweek kept playing along. “Great! I'm three rooms down, I already counted.”

 

“I'll be right there,” Craig went to shut off the video and Esther quickly waved her hands all over the place.

 

“Hold-Hold on! Uh, hold on,” Tweek tried to grab Craig’s attention.

 

“What?” Craig asked smiling sitting back down.

 

“Um…” Ester held up their notepad with a drawing of a box with a bow on it. “I... got you a present?”

 

“Oh, yeah?” Craig asked smiling wonder what Tweek could have gotten for them.

 

“Yeah, It's…” Esther motioned her hand down to the bed, “Under your bed.”

 

Craig looked a bit confused and found a small pink bag under the bed. Craig sat down and pulled a red thong out from the bag. “Ooh, A little preview?”

 

“N-No,” Esther helped out by waving her hands side to side palms facing downward and then pointed to Tweek. “I want you to wear them,” Tweek said making his voice more sexy and saw Craig’s confused face. “What's wrong? It's sexy, Have not you ever done this before?

 

“No.” Craig said flatly looking at the red thong with white lace and a bow on the front.

 

“That's cute. You're just so... ... inexperienced.” Tweek smiled resting his head in his palm acting as if he wasn’t the virgin in this situation.

 

“What? No, I am not inexperienced.” Craig defended himself putting the thong down debating the options in his head.

 

“Craig… Craig,” Tweek said the last one full of passion and trying to sound as sexy as possible. “I thought that you might do this... one little thing for me. And then... I might do a little something for you.” Tweek took off the one shoulder all together. “And then... we might do a little something together.” Tweek took off his other shoulder leaving his whole chest bare. The girls grinned celebrating as Craig looked stunned taking in every piece of flesh Tweek had laid out for him.“But…” Tweek faked a yawn, “You know what? I am tired... and it is getting really late, so…” Tweek put the robe back on. “I'll just see you tomorrow. Night.”

 

“Wait,” Tweek turned his head back to Craig from where he was about to hit end. “Wait, Um... Give me five minutes.” Craig held the Thong in his hands the thing not seeming too bad if he was going to possibly have the best sex ever.

 

“Okay,” Tweek grinned and ended the call.

 

Craig knew that if the old Craig looked at him now he would have flipped himself off. He also would have asked himself why he was scaling a building to have sex with one guy. He’d done a lot less for a lot more. But yet, it wasn’t more. It might have been more people but it didn’t mean as much. Craig wanted to have the ultimate relationship with Tweek and if that meant carefully putting his bare feet on concrete as he moved on the ledge from one room to another he would do it, he  _ was  _ doing it.

 

Craig finally got to the room and saw Tweek was in the bathroom so he ditched his towel and laid on the bed trying to look sexy. The bathroom door opened and Craig grinned. 

 

But the person Craig saw wasn’t Tweek. This was Coach Williams the cheer coach who was 40 years old and had just seen Craig in a red thong laying on her bed. She screamed loudly before Craig could even process what was happening. He screamed flipping off the bed.

 

“You!” she yelled and Craig grabbed the phone base trying to cover himself.

 

“I'm sorry!” he yelled as she grabbed his ear.

 

“March!” Williams yelled pulling him out the door.

 

“Ow! Ow!” Craig complained following her in fear of getting his ear ripped off.

 

To make it worse she was whistling and waking everyone up. So they would come out and see him in the underwear trying to cover himself with his hands.

 

“Ooh! Craig! What are you wearing?” some of his buddies said coming out of their rooms.

 

“Dude, those are for ladies.” Token tried not to laugh Clyde next to him snickering. As coach Williams knocked on his coach's door.

 

“What... the hell?” His coach looked Craig over seeing him in a thong and nothing else.

 

“I think this belongs to you, Coach. I found it in my bed,” Williams spat and Craig squirmed wishing this would all go away. He only had wanted to get laid.

 

“Coach, make her let go,” Craig spoke without thinking apparently the pain in his ear was more important than the humiliation at this point.

 

“Let go.” His coach said and she took her hand off Craig’s ear and Craig gasped relieved to have the pain gone. “‘Live and let live’ is what I say, Tucker. Takes all kinds to build a freeway. But I am not equipped…” he stepped forward backing Craig into the wall behind him. “For this kind of weirdness…” Tweek stepped out of his room to see all the girls grinning and taking photos. “This close to the playoffs!” He yelled and went back into his room.

 

The girls giggled cameras flashing as Craig tried to find an escape route. And stopped when he saw Tweek. “I guess it was four instead of three, Sorry,” Tweek faked being ashamed covered up in an actual robe. Craig looked pissed as he grabbed the door to his room going in.

 

“Show's over, ladies. Back to your rooms,” Williams yelled pushing the players and cheerleaders back into their designed rooms.

 

When they were back in the room Craig was mortified as Clyde and Token tried to cheer him up. The best thing they said was, "At least you don't have to see Tweek until school." Craig had never been so thankful for separate buses. 


	12. Chapter 12: Nothing Is What It Seems

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote another story I'm way more into so I'm going to write all these chapters real quick and upload them probably within the span of hours so I'm completely done with this story. 
> 
> I own nothing, unedited, all that jazz. Comment, Kudo, Subscribe, and Enjoy~!

Craig knew that the next day wasn’t going to be easy. Hell he wore a blue sweatshirt and his chullo hat. But as the most popular guy in school it was hard to go unnoticed. He already had his hood covering his head. He’d been debating if Tweek was really worth all this trouble and yet, Craig would do it again in a heartbeat.

 

“Hey, Craig! Love the bow,” A girl smiled showing the photo on her phone. That was the worst part, the photo of him would be forever out there.

 

“Your butt is my screensaver,” a different girl grinned showing her phone.

 

“There he is.” a bunch of other girls grinned seeing him and he ignored them getting to the locker room.

 

“Hey, Tucker,” Cartman grinned next to him on the door was printed out versions of the photo with the words, ‘Craig Tucker #1’, on it. Craig hated this, more than anything else in the world, and now it was time to get back at everyone who had made fun of him.

 

He grabbed his gear changing and ran on the field, the next part was going to be different and if he messed it up. Well, his life would be a living nightmare. When he walked onto the field everyone stared at him the whole area deathly quiet. 

 

“All right, let's go! Split up, defense versus offense. Come on.” He clapped his hands signalling for the rest of them to hurry up, he reached down knowing that the thong would show and picked up the ball the rest of the guys taking a deep breath.

 

“Dude, you wearing thongs again, man?” Token asked looking at Craig like he’d lost his mind.

 

“Yup.” Craig said easily and the rest of them shook their heads. It was at that moment all the girls walked in, “It's like letting your best friend sleep in a silk hammock. They're breezy. They do not bind. And they give you just enough swing.” Craig ran and did a flip into the endzone.

 

It was at that moment the rest of his teammates went crazy with disbelief. “What?” Craig asked them his hands outstretched. And suddenly they were all onboard with wearing thongs. “Alright, guys, let's go!” Each guy threw the football bouncing it off the field goal post until Craig caught it and spun making a dunk behind it.

 

“Un... believable.” Bebe said on the phone looking out on the field where people were cheering on Craig and the team.

 

“I'd hit him with my car... if he would not make a body cast a fashion statement.” Esther complained walking through the halls on the phone and looked over to see two guys drinking from a water fountain both wearing thongs.

 

After practice Craig got dressed and was on a mission to find Tweek before he left. He’d heard that Tweek apparently had more talent in cheer than most despite never having been a cheerleader. Tweek had also been completely ignoring him and usually it would have been the other way around. 

 

“Tweek! Hey, The other night did not quite go like I'd hoped,” Craig smiled catching up to Tweek who looked slightly pissed off. “I also heard you did the best tumbling move out of all of them.”

 

“Yeah, I know, Sorry,” Tweek paused not sure if he was supposed to continue the talk of his tumbling. “I did the Biles, it’s not that hard for males. But that isn’t what you want to talk about.”

 

“No… not really. And it’s okay, I kind of spun it.” Craig said walking trying to keep up with Tweek who was walking from cheer practice to the KCT secret room. Apparently Bebe wanted to talk about the party.

 

“I noticed. Now everyone knows Victoria's secret.” Tweek rolled his eyes, he didn’t even wear underwear and yet every guy alive wanted to wear thongs.

 

“Clyde was thinking we'd do it as a birthday theme. ‘Not the Same Old Thong and Dance,’” Craig smiled trying to get Tweek on board with the birthday theme. Stopping thinking that they would talk in one spot.

 

“Cute,” Tweek spoke flatly and kept walking. Tweek didn’t care about what Craig thought he was still pissed about Craig only wanting to get into his pants.

 

“Tweek, Tweek, wait, Wait, wait.” Craig moved stepping in front of Tweek so he would have to stop. “Look... you do not get it, Okay? I was humiliated trying to get your attention... and I'm not working this hard just so I can get some action.”

 

“So I'm not just some ‘82 Bordeaux ... you wanna 'uncork and pork’?” Tweek snapped looking at Craig using his own words against him.

 

“Where'd you hear that?” Craig looked a bit blindsided and Tweek raised an eyebrow. “No-No, No, look-look, that-that's just... locker room talk, okay? That does not mean anything.” Craig tried to defend himself, he didn’t want Tweek to be mad at him.

 

“You act like a pig so you don’t sound whipped?” Tweek asked raising an eyebrow. He would never get other boys, the constant need to not want to be in a good relationship. 

 

“Yes, Exactly, Look, I'm... I'm saying things I do not believe, I'm doing things I do not understand. I mean, I put on your underwear and I scaled a building,” Craig looked at Tweek who scoffed.

 

“Technically not my underwear… It was brand new.” Tweek didn’t wanna get into the fact that every time he bought underwear gnomes would steal it. So he’d gotten used to going commando and not wearing anything.

 

“I'm trying so hard but I'm out of plays, Tweek... you're the one.” Tweek looked confused, Craig didn’t mean ‘the one’ Tweek hadn’t seriously actually played the Craig Tucker. “Look, I've... never done this before, so... I'm not exactly sure how it goes.” Craig pulled off his hat. “It's just something personal, Okay? Something to show you... and whoever wants to know, that I'm whipped.” Craig put the hat on Tweek whose mouth dropped and looked around seeing everyone staring at them particularly Tweek who was wearing Craig’s Chullo hat.

 

“Excellent!” Someone shouted from far away and Tweek visibly shuddered and twitched.

 

“Yeah, I'm whipped, Will you be my boyfriend?” Craig asked shrugging nervously as Tweek looked nervous.

 

“Craig I….” Tweek looked behind Craig nervously. 

 

“You don’t have to answer right now. Just tell me at my birthday party okay?” Craig smiled and Tweek nodded and ran off going to the secret hideout.

 

Tweek entered the room and immediately the girls stared at him seeing the hat. It was as if they knew even if they hadn’t been there. He wasn’t sure what to do, so he just took a sip of the coffee he’d gotten before he came over very thankful he’d stopped. 

 

“Oh... my…” Red looked at Tweek in disbelief.

 

“God,” Esther finished her sentence. 

 

“We'll crush him,” Bebe grinned going to her laptop.

 

“Kill time. Bam! Happy birthday, little Tucker.” Esther 

 

“Um... y-you guys... I'm feeling a little weird about this whole thing,” Tweek stuttered. He didn’t want to do this anymore. Craig actually felt something for him and breaking his heart didn’t seem right to break his heart now.

 

“Huh?” Esther asked confused staring at Tweek.

 

“Tweek... You said if you ever dated a guy like this... you would get even.” Bebe stared at Tweek like he’d betrayed all of them and kicked a puppy at the same time.

 

“I know, um, but…” Tweek stuttered, he didn’t know how to explain himself to the girls. He didn’t know how to say he didn’t want to be mean, or that Craig actually seemed like a great guy.

 

“Oh, my God, you love him!” Red accused Tweek who’s eyes went wide and went to say no.

 

“Oh, we are doing a dating intervention. This is for your own good.” Esther sat Tweek down as the other girls hovered over him.

 

“Reality check, Tweek: you're not really dating him.” Bebe pointed out and Tweek looked a bit frightened that the girls hated him.

  
“You got Tucked over,” Red exclaimed.

 

“He didn't fall for you, He fell for what we made you. Who were you before you met us?” Bebe asked and Tweek shifted side to side feeling his fingers twitch. 

 

“No one... and then we made you ‘the one’... and this is how you repay us?” Red asked pissed off and Tweek flinched.

 

“So, the little monster you created destroys Craig Tucker... and then what? What-what happens to me?” Tweek asked worried and finished his coffee, it didn’t help his nerves not like usual.

 

“You become a legend!” Red answered the Duh implied in her voice.

 

“Yeah!” Esther agreed as if Tweek was being unreasonable for not wanting all of this.

 

“What if I don't want that?” Tweek whispered softly and looked up at the girls.

 

“Well, you can't have him! And... this Hat belongs to me! I'm the head cheerleader, He's the team captain. This Hat should be mine!” Red motioned to Tweek’s head and put her hands on her hips looking at Tweek jealousy written all over her face.

 

“What, you think because you're the head cheerleader... you can get whatever you want?” Esther asked staring at Red this becoming more and more into a fight

 

“Exactly!” Red stared at Esther.

 

“Hey! Girls! Stop!” Bebe tried to get them to stop fighting.

 

“Thanks, Bebe.” Tweek sighed relieved that at least one of them didn’t want to get into a huge fight at the moment.

 

“He deserves the best, okay? He obviously deserves me.” Bebe pointed out her head held high.

 

“What? Please, You don't care about him, All you care about is getting into Hartford.” Esther rolled her eyes at the overachiever who thought she was the best out of all of them.

 

“I believe it's ‘Har-vard,’” Bebe corrected Esther being just as bitchy as Esther was being.

 

“Stop it, You guys, we're supposed to be friends,” Tweek tried to calm down the girls wanting more and more to run away.

 

“Well, friends don't say they're gonna do something and then…” Red started getting closer and closer to Tweek.

 

“And then totally screw everybody over!” Esther finished her sentence advancing on Tweek as well.

 

“If you're not against Craig, you are not with us.” Bebe pointed at Tweek and all three of them crossed their arms and stared at Tweek.

 

It was at that moment Tweek realized who is friends were. Not the three girls obsessed with Craig and got him in trouble but the science buddies who were looking out for Craig and him. Tweek scoffed smiling slightly and then stood up looking at the girls. “You guys really think this is gonna help you... get over Craig Tucker? You're either obsessed with destroying him... or obsessed with dating him. Either way, it's always all about him, I'm done with it.” Tweek grabbed his bag quickly trying to get out of the room.

 

“Well, cheerleaders don't quit.” Red shouted at Tweek’s turned back.

 

“I'm not a real cheerleader. Whatever your plan is, count me out.” Tweek turned and shrugged opening the door.

 

“Well, don't worry about it... because you're fired!” Bebe shouted after him as the door closed behind him.

 

“But…” Esther looked concerned to the other two girls.

 

“Okay. Hang on. I think I know what we need,” Bebe smiled always having a backup plan.

 

Kyle was sitting in the computer lab with Stan when he saw Tweek storm out of the back room. He nudged Stan who turned and Kyle pointed and Stan turned seeing Tweek walking away with Craig’s hat on his head. Then suddenly following after Tweek was Esther, Red, and Bebe three girls who apparently hated each other and wanted to destroy their now friend Craig Tucker. Something was very wrong. Kyle got up and Stan followed.

 

Tweek wished it could just be simple, like a retro pop song. ‘I WANT U WANT ME’. Boom, end of story, and they all lived happily ever after. He unlocked his locker and then heard the voice of the blonde in his science class.

 

“That's a nice Hat,” Kenny smirked leaning against the locker next to Tweek’s own. Tweek jumping slightly at his voice.

 

“No, it's-it's not what it looks like,” Tweek stuttered out nervously. But it's never really a happy ending, is it? 

 

“Since when are Esther and Bebe friends with Red? Those girls absolutely hate each other, Tweek. And what are they doing talking to you?” Kenny asked looking over Tweek. “What happened to you? You were so different, and now you're like... the rest of them- you fell for Craig Tucker.”

 

“No, I-I didn't, No, it's-it's not like that, I mean…” Tweek tried to defend himself from the blonde who always seemed to know everyone’s business.

 

“It's something you cooked up with those three, It's just a joke to you, is not it?” Kenny paused shaking his head laughing. “You want to know why Craig fell for you? He thinks that you're the first honest relationship that he's been in.”

 

“Well, he's not that innocent, okay? I mean, y-you know how Craig Tucker can be.” Tweek shouted as Kyle and Stan got closer.

 

“Everybody knows how he can be. He is Craig Tucker! And still, every girl in school lines up to date him, knowing what they know. And yeah, he lies to girls to get them to fall for him. I can’t imagine the kind of person who would do that. Can you?” Kenny asked raising an eyebrow and turned walking away past Kyle and Stan.

 

Tweek wanted to cry, he wanted to breakdown and apologize and forget everything. He found it easier to be in a mental hospital than in a high school. Even a sober living house was better than having to deal with drama, and clicks, at least there you knew who your friends were. And you only focused on one thing. You.


	13. Chapter 13: Cake, Chaos, And More Cake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing, unedited, all that jazz. Comment, Kudo, Subscribe, and Enjoy~!

Kyle and Stan took Tweek home and were pleasantly surprised when they were even given a chocolate cake with chocolate frosting as a welcome to the Tweak household. Kyle and Stan helped themselves to the Cake as Tweek sat on his bed holding his knees up to his chest. 

 

“So you made mistakes. But you would never plan to hurt somebody,” Kyle finally broke the silence and looked at Tweek who sighed.

 

“I-I'm just... I just got so caught up in it. I guess... I was invisible for so long that... it felt good to be noticed.” Tweek mumbled as his mother came in with a cup of coffee hearing Tweek’s response.

 

“Tweek... you chose to be invisible. You thought it would be easier that way,” His mom pointed out trying to be helpful as Kyle and Stan looked to each other.

 

“Well, they're noticing me now. I mean, none of this is really me. And-and now I don’t even know who my real friends really are” Tweek stuttered a bit freaked out he was being so honest even with Kyle and Stan only a few feet away.

 

“We’re your friends,” Kyle smiled.

 

“Maybe if you showed them the real Tweek, you'd find out if the rest were too.” His mother smiled and touched his cheek lovingly and then left the room.

 

“You know there is a birthday party going on right now….” Stan pointed out and Kyle grinned, “And we probably don’t know how to make you look fabulous but he could take you there. We are technically his friends too now.”

 

Tweek nodded and stood up, “I don’t want to be something I'm not, and this is me.” 

 

“Well I like you,” Kyle smiled and then looked to Stan. “Maybe not as much as I like Stan though. And Kenny likes you too, he’s just weird.”

 

Tweek wasn’t sure if Kenny actually liked him but he smiled and the three of them walked outside and got into Stan’s car. Tweek was nervous he was going to a party to basically break up with his fake boyfriend. On his birthday no less. But Tweek knew if he didn’t do it now it would be worse later on. 

 

* * *

 

 

Craig smiled saying hi to people as he went through the room everyone dancing drinking and wishing him happy birthday. But none of these people were on the forefront of his mind, that belonged to Tweek. Craig hadn’t seen Tweek yet and he was supposed to give Craig an answer on if he wanted to date him tonight. Craig wanted to be his best friend, he wanted to be his boyfriend. Tweek was everything.

 

“Hey, happy birthday, dude.” Clyde grinned slinging his arm around Craig grinning and obviously more than four drinks into the night.

 

“Thanks Clyde,” Craig grinned trying to remember that this was his birthday.

 

“Hey, have you seen Token? We have a birthday present for Craig,” Bebe asked some random kid and the kid grinned drink in hand.

 

“Yeah, he's on stage, in the truck,” The guy pointed to the stage and Bebe nodded making her way up to the stage, Red and Esther following. 

 

Token wasn’t just near this truck. This truck had been modified to have giant speakers in it. “We 'bout to thump up in here!” Token grinned. 

 

Bebe smiled back to the girls as they made their way up to the stage. “Hey, look, check me out," Token spoke into the mic getting peoples attention. "It's Craig Tucker toast time! Yeah! Hey, Craig, come up here, man!” Token called and Craig smiled and came up on stage.

 

Tweek walked in with Kyle and Stan, they two disappearing into the crowd while Tweek was allowed to make his way up to the stage.  “All right, look, check this out. A birthday comes but once a year... and the good Lord you'll be thanking. Now, old pal, let's cut this cake... and see who's giving you... a... spanking! Ho-ho-ho!” Token grinned as a giant fake cake was wheeled out and two girls popped out from the top and smiled each taking one side of Craig and fawning over him.

 

“Token! Token, hey!” Bebe grinned from the side of the stage calling him over.

 

“What's up? Whatcha got for me?” He asked as Bebe handed him a USB drive.

 

“Oh, just a little something extra from the girls,”she smiled sweetly.

 

“Me likey, I'm gonna start it right now,” Token smiled and walked away to put it on the big screen behind them. Everyone was lead into a giant singing a happy birthday and when it ended token grabbed the mic again and started talking. “That was hot! He's got mad skills! Now take a look at hotter!”

 

_ “Boy can slam! Move on back 'cause Tuck's our man!” The cheerleaders sang and the video cut to a club. “We love you, Craig! Happy birthday, Craig! Everyone in the Poetry Club…” _

 

“Tweek! You made it, Come on. Come wish me a happy birthday,” Craig jumped off stage a spotlight following him and he grabbed Tweek’s hand.

 

“Craig, that's not why I'm here,” Tweek stuttered as he was pulled up on stage. Craig smiled and pointed to Tweek.

 

“ _ Oh, Tweek... this is just something to show you and... whoever wants to know, that I'm whipped. You're the one, Tweek.” _

 

The whole crowd awed and Tweek looked over spotting the girls who looked at him confused as to why Tweek had even shown up to the party.

 

_ “Look, I've never done this before, so…” _

 

“This is cool…” Craig whispered into Tweek’s ear.

 

_ “I'm not exactly sure how it goes. Will you be my girlfriend?” _

 

“Oh, yeah!” The crowd screamed again.

 

_ “Craig Tucker, there's only one guy out there... for me…” _

 

“Oh, no!” Tweek whispered and ran behind to unplug the laptop.

 

_ “But you are not…” _

 

Tweek pulled the plug, “What's going on?” Craig asked looking heartbroken and confused.

 

“Um... Craig, I have something I have to say. This entire time... I've been pretending to be a bunch of stuff that I'm not... so you would... fall for me,” Tweek explained lowly so the crowd wouldn’t hear.

 

“Louder! What's the deal?!” Some people in the crowd yelled and Tweek held up the mic taking a deep breath.

 

“We were trying to break your heart ... so you knew what it felt like,” Tweek explained and Craig stood there his hands in his pockets.

 

“‘We’?” Craig echoed and Tweek looked to the girls and Craig looked too. “I get it. Well, hey... you girls pull it off. Yeah, it worked.”

 

“I'm sorry,” Tweek pulled off the hat giving it to Craig. Craig looked down at the hat as he tried not to look too heartbroken.

 

“What's the deal? What's going on?! You guys breaking up?” More people yelled confused.

 

“Look, this entire time, I've been... I've been lying about who I am. But... I'm done pretending. This is the real me. This is Tweek.” Tweek shrugged and smiled softly to the rest of the crowd.

 

“Hey, Tweek!” A guy in the front row said.

 

“Yeah?” Tweek asked hopefully.

 

“You're ruining the party!” He yelled throwing his drink at Tweek. 

 

“That is so not fair. Oh, no!” Esther said climbing up on stage to tend to Tweek.

 

“This is all our fault. You do not deserve this.” Bebe said trying to pat down Tweek with her jacket.

 

“We should never have done this to you.” Red looked sad trying to help Bebe in drying off Tweek.

 

“Give me that. Okay, Hey! So big deal, he lied. We all lied.” Esther spoke into the mic looking at the crowd.

 

“What? Like you've never lied before?” Bebe grabbed the mic asking the crowd.

 

“Exactly, You should be throwing drinks at each other…” Red explained Token bringing out the real cake.

 

“Yeah,”Bebe agreed.

 

“Not him,” Red finished her thought process the three of them getting drinks tossed at them

 

“Everybody chill,” Craig grabbed the mic. “Look... they're right. We all do it. I lie, I pretend I'm whatever I need to to get girls.”

 

“And it works, dude! You're the man!” A guy yelled.

 

“Naw, I'm not saying it's a good thing,” Craig tried to explain.

 

“It's a great thing!” A different guy yelled.

 

“Guys... what I'm trying to say is... it's wrong.” Craig tried to explain that his lying and hooking up wasn’t a good thing and that it had gotten his heartbroken.

 

“There ain't nothin 'wrong with hookin' up... with the finest girls in the school!” A guy yelled grinning.

 

“Yeah! Tucker! Tucker! Tucker! Tucker! Tucker! Tucker! Tucker! Tucker! Tucker! Tucker!” Craig shrugged at Tweek when he looked over uncaring if that his speech had gone completely unnoticed. 

 

Tweek was pissed. He didn’t go all the way here just to have nothing happen. He grabbed a handful of cake and threw it at Craig hitting the other in the face. “Oh!” the crowd yelled.

 

Craig looked stunned before he grinned going over and grabbing cake and tossing it at Tweek and also hitting the girls. The rest of the party tossing drinks and other food at each other. Tweek grinned smashing cake all over Craig’s face. Tweek wasn’t sure what happened after all the cake throwing but he escaped pretty quickly through the chaos. He didn't wanna be there when the throwing ended and real life hit everyone. Running away from your problems was always a valid choice. Until at least they caught up with you. 


	14. Chapter 14: Passion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This be the end my dudes. Hopefully you liked the story even if you had seen the movie. And look out for more stories from me pretty soon Thanks! 
> 
> I own nothing, unedited, all that jazz. Comment, Kudo, Subscribe, and Enjoy~!

It took Tweek 12 bottles of shampoo to get the cake out of his hair, But, it was all worth it. The next day at school was different. Tweek thought that maybe nothing would change, but it did, or he’d become invisible again and yet he wasn’t.

 

“Tweek! Hey.” Craig called Tweek and he turned to stare at what now could technically be considered his ex boyfriend.

 

“Hey. Wow, you look... clean,” Tweek shifted from side to side.

 

“Thanks, You look pretty clean yourself,” Craig smiled to Tweek. 

 

“Thanks. Listen... I should not have thrown the cake…” Tweek started to apologize.

 

“Tweek, stop, I deserved the cake in the face. And, as hard as it might be for you to believe... I'm gonna start telling the truth, I mean it.” Craig wasn’t sure how he thought this would go but he wanted something more and he still wanted Tweek. He refused to believe that he had only fallen for the persona.

 

“Okay, well, that... I think that's great.” Tweek smiled to Craig thankful that at least something had come of their scheme.

 

“Tweek I...” Craig paused sighing. “I refuse to believe that the guy with quirks and was a gymnast who’s into art and liked hearing me talk about the stars was really only you playing me.”

 

“I uh,” Tweek blushed smiling. “No, I liked hearing you talk about the stars, and I do like art. But my quirks?” Tweek asked raising an eyebrow. “I’m on medication because I have been to multiple rehab facilities for addiction and I have lots of health risks.

 

“So? Tell me about them.” Craig asked pulling Tweek to sit down at a bench.

 

“My parents make a special blend of coffee and they put meth into it. I used to drink it as a kid without knowing. This made me twitch and basically become a meth head. I have anxiety, paranoia, and gnomes steal my underwear.” Tweek sighed putting everything on the table without stuttering once. 

 

“My name is Craig Tucker my little sister’s name is Tricia, but we all call her Ruby. I haven’t ever been addicted to anything except trying to be the best. I lied to people to have them go out with me and on Friday I had my heartbroken by a guy who ran away after he threw cake at me. I really liked watching him talk about the things he was passionate, and seeing him laugh. I didn’t like seeing him be anxious or paranoid especially knowing I had helped him,” Craig smiled. “So Tweek Tweak, would you actually like to go out with me? No lies?”

 

Tweek blushed and smiled, “I’d like that.”

 

Craig felt his heart beat faster and faster as he leaned in seeing Tweek come closer his face coming up to Craig’s own. Craig knew that when he kissed Tweek, he’d realize that this was something he wanted. He wanted to be in a relationship, the mindless flings were that, mindless. Then Craig kissed him. At his lips’ touch Tweek realized he’d never get enough of this. Their first kiss was soft, their second kiss with sparks but this, Craig groaned into the kiss tasting Tweek, it was passion.

 

And how did their story end? We’ll the girls definitely got to him. He never lied to Tweek or anyone. It made him kind of an asshole always being brutally honest but Tweek loved it. As for Tweek who made Craig Tucker fall in love? Well, he's a legend in the small little mountain town of South Park Colorado.

**Author's Note:**

> (Ps: This should be updated every week. Probably Mondays.)


End file.
